...lastly, i just want to say a little about sharing. i think just the act of sharing something that you've made is powerful in and of itself, and if nothing else i'd like to think that that act alone, regardless of what's being shared, can be inspiring.
there are so many people who get hung up on sharing. so many, and it just baffles me. i mean, the absolute only thing we know for sure about life is that you die at the end of it...and that's pretty fucking scary. and we all have that in common. yet, it seems like for the most part our day to day lives are an act of building our own pitiful little sandcastles in our corners and trying to keep other people from coming over and getting in the way or, god forbid, kicking the sand around. it's sad. i don't understand it.
what is there in sharing that's more horrifying to people than the idea of being alone? what could possibly be the downside to having an important thought or idea or insight and then deciding to talk to someone else about it? what's the downside of shared knowledge?
i guess i'm frustrated by this because i spent so many long years worrying about this exact thing, and then on the day, the fucking day i just decided not to anymore it was like storm clouds blowing away and uncovering the sun. it was that dramatic. and i see people all the time going through life day to day, just stomping on feelings and thoughts, and hiding, and repressing...and for awhile it's a forceful thing, and then all of a sudden it seems like a lot of people reach a day where it's not even a conscious process anymore. being shut up inside yourself becomes reflexive, and they're not even aware they're doing it. i don't know. i don't understand.
if you are who you are, does it really matter what other people think of that? if you're only other choice is to just hide any bit of originality or emotion or brilliance you have to share with the world so that nobody ever has a chance to ridicule it...doesn't seem like much of a choice...
well, i got sort of derailed by an inability to coherent articultate (boo-ya), perhaps due to lack of caffeine...but i guess my point was that i hope, constantly, that by sharing i can inspire other people to do the same, while at the same time knowing that i can't expect that because that would be unfair. so many people (including me) are just so afraid a lot of the time, but instead of sharing that burden and shouldering it together, people get hooked on materialism, or TV, or alcohol, or shallow friendships/shallow sex relationships and things like that...i mean there's nothing wrong with the fact that not everybody wants to paint their own naked body on a street corner in new york and not everybody wants to constantly be around people...i myself have a low tolerance for socializing. it's just that when isolation, zombification, etc. are choices made out of fear, instead of as an educated alternative...
it all comes back to fear, i suppose. and overcoming that. and people thinking they have to overcome it alone. it's easier if we don't, i think. group work, people. it's not just for hippies anymore.
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