i was just listening to this song this morning before class, and marvelling at what a great blues tune it is. then when class got snowed to death, i figured i'd come home and learn it. i've been thinking about writing 1-2 straight blues numbers for the next record, maybe one on piano, and so i thought recording this might be good practice. i'm not sure how it sounds, but damn if it wasn't fun to play. anyway, here's a yousendit link. if the link expires, just email me and i'll re-up it. i did pretty much every track in 1 to 3 takes, so don't expect soaring sonic genius. but i think it's good, all things considered. let me know what you think if you want. even if you think it sucks. especially if you think it sucks.
"Love in Vain" (Robert Johnson cover) .mp3
Jan 31, 2008
MADDEN - 1/31
after a few near-misses, the niners got back into shape tonight by absolutely dissolving the cardinals. they took the clock-control strategy they've been using to great effect the last few games to new heights - at halftime, the cardinals had had the ball for 3 of the 30 minutes, gotten 0 first downs, and had (with the exception of a 60 yard touchdown play) gained only 11 yards. the niners offense was kicking (bowes ended up with 165 yards on the ground), but they were having trouble turning yardage into points, so by half time it was only 20-7. the did have one chance to take control of the game, when it was 7-3 in their favor and bunting threw an interception, but on the runback, bunting himself absolutely destroyed the guy who had picked him off, causing a fumble that was recovered by the niners. possibly the funniest play of the season.
early on in the second half, bunting threw a second interception, and it was run back, making it 20-14, but the niners poured it on after that, adding two touchdowns and a field goal to make it 36-14. the cardinals made it interesting near the end, stringing together their first real drive of the game and scoring with 1:30 left to make it 36-20. they then recovered the onside kick, but turned the ball over on downs. next up, some other team with a terrible record who's begging to be destroyed.
early on in the second half, bunting threw a second interception, and it was run back, making it 20-14, but the niners poured it on after that, adding two touchdowns and a field goal to make it 36-14. the cardinals made it interesting near the end, stringing together their first real drive of the game and scoring with 1:30 left to make it 36-20. they then recovered the onside kick, but turned the ball over on downs. next up, some other team with a terrible record who's begging to be destroyed.
inundated!!
so today the snowfall finally hit its peak (or at least a peak...we'll see what tomorrow brings), and WSU's classes were cancelled for the first time in at least 16 years (so I was told by someone who's been here for 16 years). i tried to capture some photos of the devastation, but it's a little difficult to really see what's going on, mostly because it's hard to get a sense of scale from the photos. take my word for it, it's intense.
here's shadow, already fucked and now covered in snow:
this car is 180-degree fucked:
this car is very close to being totally fucked:
this used to be a road. now it's fucked:
these two cars are at least 80 percent fucked:
at least these cars have each other. but they're still fucked:
underneath that fake car sprayed on a mound of snow is a real car. which is fucked:
here's shadow, already fucked and now covered in snow:
this car is 180-degree fucked:
this car is very close to being totally fucked:
this used to be a road. now it's fucked:
these two cars are at least 80 percent fucked:
at least these cars have each other. but they're still fucked:
underneath that fake car sprayed on a mound of snow is a real car. which is fucked:
TRAVEL JOURNAL - 1/31
(continued from 1/30)
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Kids, for me, cause conflicting emotions. On one hand, I love dealing with people that are inherently less jaded and more interested in life as life than I usually am. On the other hand, children (usually) come with parents, and parents are normally (understandably) protective of their children. I can appreciate the uneasiness it may or may not cause parents to see a tall, gangly bearded man conversing with their daughter or son in the middle of the street, or restaurant, or woods. It’s a strange situation where the child in question seeks you out because they have no preconceptions, yet those of the parents often dissuade you from engaging the child on their level.
In this case, I said “Hello” hesitantly, my eyes darting from Emma’s to those of her parents. Both mom and dad were smiling, and though the smiles were uneasy, they were also indulgent smiles rather than I’m-going-to-vomit nervous smiles. I smiled back—my best non-convict-looking grin—and then turned my attention back to Emma.
I wasn’t sure what to say next, but in my experience children of Emma’s age only really need you to contribute aggressively to conversation if they’ve asked a question and are waiting for a response; otherwise they’re fine providing all the verbiage on their own. Sure enough, I waited almost an entire second before she said “I lost my coat.” She said this matter-of-factly; not complaining, not bragging. It was just the way things were.
I smiled at her, and aimed for a tone that wasn’t too patronizing; she didn’t strike me as the type who needed to be patronized. “You’re going to freeze to the ground soon if you don’t find it.”
She looked perplexed for a moment, then looked down at her feet, then back up at me. I tried to keep my expression blank, but of course she saw through it and laughed, “Nuh-uh!” She rolled her eyes, and without offering me a chance to defend myself, shouted “We’re trying to find it!” For this, she turned and faced her parents again, as if to acknowledge their bit part in her grand endeavor, then turned back just as fast, a slight scowl on her face. “You haven’t seen it, have you?”
Her tone was accusatory; I suppose I’d earned it. “Nope. But if I do see it, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
She nodded once, but her head kept bouncing up and down afterwards like little aftershocks. “Alright,” she said, drawing out the “i” as if she didn’t quite believe me. “It’s pink and has bees on it.”
I was pretty sure her coat didn’t have bees on it, especially if it was a pink coat, but I didn’t want to press the issue. “Okay,” I said.
She stuck out her hand, as if she wanted me to shake it, and I almost fell over myself trying to back up. Even if the parents did let me talk to the kid without rushing her off, there was no way I was going to get away with shaking hands with her. I looked up at mom and dad again and surprisingly, they seemed even more amused now than they had been earlier. So I shook away and even at the moment of physical contact, at the moment when I would have been most likely to show my true child-kidnapping colors, twirl my moustache, and escape into the forest, the parents kept smiling. Alright, so maybe I’m just a cynical old grouch. That’s always a possibility.
Emma and her parents turned to walk away and as they did I gave the mom and dad a curt nod, what I perceived (and what I hope they perceived) as a nonverbal thank-you.
As their little group started up the next switchback, Emma already shrieking something else to her dad excitedly and trying to get back up on his shoulders (despite the fact that he seemed hesitant about the possibility), I saw Ellie come back around the corner she’d already turned and look in my direction. She was about forty feet away, but I could tell from where I was she was looking at me quizzically, her thin elvish nose crinkled up in the way that I had often found devastatingly adorable at close range. That in turn brought to mind a time, not that long ago, when I had actually carried her up this very switchback slung over my shoulder like a bag of rice, in response to her suggesting that I was too slow to keep up with her. I was not physically strong by any stretch of the imagination, but I spent enough time lugging heavy things of some kind or another this way and that that lifting someone who in all likelihood weighed near one hundred pounds (she would never tell me exactly, for some reason) wasn’t a remarkable feat. That had always been my way of resolving our faux-arguments: when her feet left the ground, she knew she had lost. On her end, she could end similar arguments by strategic application of a certain facial expression that would leave me unable to retaliate, even in a fake argument, without feeling guilty. It was an expression not unlike the one Emma had used to disarm me a few moments before. It was too bad we didn’t have as tidy a system to resolve our actual arguments.
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Kids, for me, cause conflicting emotions. On one hand, I love dealing with people that are inherently less jaded and more interested in life as life than I usually am. On the other hand, children (usually) come with parents, and parents are normally (understandably) protective of their children. I can appreciate the uneasiness it may or may not cause parents to see a tall, gangly bearded man conversing with their daughter or son in the middle of the street, or restaurant, or woods. It’s a strange situation where the child in question seeks you out because they have no preconceptions, yet those of the parents often dissuade you from engaging the child on their level.
In this case, I said “Hello” hesitantly, my eyes darting from Emma’s to those of her parents. Both mom and dad were smiling, and though the smiles were uneasy, they were also indulgent smiles rather than I’m-going-to-vomit nervous smiles. I smiled back—my best non-convict-looking grin—and then turned my attention back to Emma.
I wasn’t sure what to say next, but in my experience children of Emma’s age only really need you to contribute aggressively to conversation if they’ve asked a question and are waiting for a response; otherwise they’re fine providing all the verbiage on their own. Sure enough, I waited almost an entire second before she said “I lost my coat.” She said this matter-of-factly; not complaining, not bragging. It was just the way things were.
I smiled at her, and aimed for a tone that wasn’t too patronizing; she didn’t strike me as the type who needed to be patronized. “You’re going to freeze to the ground soon if you don’t find it.”
She looked perplexed for a moment, then looked down at her feet, then back up at me. I tried to keep my expression blank, but of course she saw through it and laughed, “Nuh-uh!” She rolled her eyes, and without offering me a chance to defend myself, shouted “We’re trying to find it!” For this, she turned and faced her parents again, as if to acknowledge their bit part in her grand endeavor, then turned back just as fast, a slight scowl on her face. “You haven’t seen it, have you?”
Her tone was accusatory; I suppose I’d earned it. “Nope. But if I do see it, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
She nodded once, but her head kept bouncing up and down afterwards like little aftershocks. “Alright,” she said, drawing out the “i” as if she didn’t quite believe me. “It’s pink and has bees on it.”
I was pretty sure her coat didn’t have bees on it, especially if it was a pink coat, but I didn’t want to press the issue. “Okay,” I said.
She stuck out her hand, as if she wanted me to shake it, and I almost fell over myself trying to back up. Even if the parents did let me talk to the kid without rushing her off, there was no way I was going to get away with shaking hands with her. I looked up at mom and dad again and surprisingly, they seemed even more amused now than they had been earlier. So I shook away and even at the moment of physical contact, at the moment when I would have been most likely to show my true child-kidnapping colors, twirl my moustache, and escape into the forest, the parents kept smiling. Alright, so maybe I’m just a cynical old grouch. That’s always a possibility.
Emma and her parents turned to walk away and as they did I gave the mom and dad a curt nod, what I perceived (and what I hope they perceived) as a nonverbal thank-you.
As their little group started up the next switchback, Emma already shrieking something else to her dad excitedly and trying to get back up on his shoulders (despite the fact that he seemed hesitant about the possibility), I saw Ellie come back around the corner she’d already turned and look in my direction. She was about forty feet away, but I could tell from where I was she was looking at me quizzically, her thin elvish nose crinkled up in the way that I had often found devastatingly adorable at close range. That in turn brought to mind a time, not that long ago, when I had actually carried her up this very switchback slung over my shoulder like a bag of rice, in response to her suggesting that I was too slow to keep up with her. I was not physically strong by any stretch of the imagination, but I spent enough time lugging heavy things of some kind or another this way and that that lifting someone who in all likelihood weighed near one hundred pounds (she would never tell me exactly, for some reason) wasn’t a remarkable feat. That had always been my way of resolving our faux-arguments: when her feet left the ground, she knew she had lost. On her end, she could end similar arguments by strategic application of a certain facial expression that would leave me unable to retaliate, even in a fake argument, without feeling guilty. It was an expression not unlike the one Emma had used to disarm me a few moments before. It was too bad we didn’t have as tidy a system to resolve our actual arguments.
MADDEN - 1/30
so the streak of near-losses continued last night in a barn-burner (what the hell does that mean, anyway?) against the vikings. they jumped out to a 14-0 in the first FOUR MINUTES, and we managed to close the lead and tie it 14-14, but they ran the ensuing kickoff back for a touchdown. as the first half came to an end, we were dominating on offense and time of possession, but they had gotten 21 points on TWO FIRST DOWNS and 167 yards on ELEVEN PLAYS. at halftime, we made it 24-21 with a field goal as time ran out.
we got the ball back to start the second half, but couldn't do anything with it. almost immediately, the vikings scored again, and then we followed with a short field goal (we got stopped with a first and goal inside the 10) to bring us back within one, 28-27. at this point, there had been something like 2 punts in the entire game, and no turnovers. it was obvious that the defenses were both pretty pointless and the team to first make a mistake on offense would be the team to lose.
the vikings drove down again on the very next few plays, but we held them within the 5, and they kicked a field goal to make it 31-27. with about 6 minutes left in the game, we got the ball back and scored again to make it 34-31. i was hoping this would be the end of the scoring, but it wasn't even close. the vikings ate up most of the rest of the clock on ANOTHER touchdown drive that made it 38-34 with 1:30 left in the game. perfect record on the line, we drove down the field in pretty much three huge pass plays, then ran the clock down and punched it in for a score with 21 seconds left to make it 41-38. game over, right? randy moss sucks ass.
with 19 seconds left, culpepper threw two perfect 20 yard passes to randy moss, and then on the final heave of the game threw another pass down to the 10, which was dropped and AFTER THE PLAY was whistled dead, the ref threw a "roughing the passer" flag because someone had bumped into culpepper after the play. this put the vikings on the 10 with 2 seconds left, and they kicked a field goal to send it into overtime.
we won the toss, drove down within field goal range right away, but then on 3rd and 4, we picked up a first down on the 30, but again AFTER THE WHISTLE we were called for clipping, which set us up with a 3rd and 19 on the 45. we had to punt to the vikings, and somehow, someway, held them again. from there it was just a matter of a few passes and a 34 yard field goal and the game was over, 44-41. the story of the game was bowes, who ran for 125 yards, but also had 67 receiving yards over 8 catches and FOUR TOUCHDOWNS.
both teams' offenses were obviously on fire, but it was interesting how different they were. the vikings had very little TOP and scored a lot on a few plays with many yards. we, on the other hand, ran over one hundred plays and had the ball for almost 45 minutes of the 60 minute game; bunting had 68 pass attempts for 450 yards and bowes had 34 carries, for a total of 615 yards of offense. absolute insanity. there were more points scored in the first half of this game than there were total in the last two games. i'm not sure who we're playing next, but it can't possibly be more nerve wracking. also, we're over the hump now in the quest to complete a perfect regular season. "all pro" difficult my ass!
by the way, according to a quick etymological search, "barnburner" comes from the practice of burning down barns to get rid of rats. seems like a desperate measure to me.
we got the ball back to start the second half, but couldn't do anything with it. almost immediately, the vikings scored again, and then we followed with a short field goal (we got stopped with a first and goal inside the 10) to bring us back within one, 28-27. at this point, there had been something like 2 punts in the entire game, and no turnovers. it was obvious that the defenses were both pretty pointless and the team to first make a mistake on offense would be the team to lose.
the vikings drove down again on the very next few plays, but we held them within the 5, and they kicked a field goal to make it 31-27. with about 6 minutes left in the game, we got the ball back and scored again to make it 34-31. i was hoping this would be the end of the scoring, but it wasn't even close. the vikings ate up most of the rest of the clock on ANOTHER touchdown drive that made it 38-34 with 1:30 left in the game. perfect record on the line, we drove down the field in pretty much three huge pass plays, then ran the clock down and punched it in for a score with 21 seconds left to make it 41-38. game over, right? randy moss sucks ass.
with 19 seconds left, culpepper threw two perfect 20 yard passes to randy moss, and then on the final heave of the game threw another pass down to the 10, which was dropped and AFTER THE PLAY was whistled dead, the ref threw a "roughing the passer" flag because someone had bumped into culpepper after the play. this put the vikings on the 10 with 2 seconds left, and they kicked a field goal to send it into overtime.
we won the toss, drove down within field goal range right away, but then on 3rd and 4, we picked up a first down on the 30, but again AFTER THE WHISTLE we were called for clipping, which set us up with a 3rd and 19 on the 45. we had to punt to the vikings, and somehow, someway, held them again. from there it was just a matter of a few passes and a 34 yard field goal and the game was over, 44-41. the story of the game was bowes, who ran for 125 yards, but also had 67 receiving yards over 8 catches and FOUR TOUCHDOWNS.
both teams' offenses were obviously on fire, but it was interesting how different they were. the vikings had very little TOP and scored a lot on a few plays with many yards. we, on the other hand, ran over one hundred plays and had the ball for almost 45 minutes of the 60 minute game; bunting had 68 pass attempts for 450 yards and bowes had 34 carries, for a total of 615 yards of offense. absolute insanity. there were more points scored in the first half of this game than there were total in the last two games. i'm not sure who we're playing next, but it can't possibly be more nerve wracking. also, we're over the hump now in the quest to complete a perfect regular season. "all pro" difficult my ass!
by the way, according to a quick etymological search, "barnburner" comes from the practice of burning down barns to get rid of rats. seems like a desperate measure to me.
Jan 30, 2008
MIXTAPE - Salem and Seattle
in the interest of adding some structure to this blog, and also to make it generally clear to casual readers which entries are nerdy video game posts, which are journal samples, and which are other things, i've started labelling everything that's not just random thoughts. so if you see a post without an all-caps title, it's probably random. otherwise, you should already know what you've gotten yourself into.
so, here's another new thing i want to start doing. getting back to making mixtapes, writing occasional reviews, and making best-of music lists. not because i think my opinion is really well informed or matters, but just because it's fun. so here's my first mixtape, made entirely from albums i played on my way to and from salem and seattle this past weekend. i listened to a lot of not-ryan adams stuff (believe it or not), but then when i sat down to arrange a bunch of the tracks it i realized that the selection sort of precluded a neat song flow. so i basically split the tracklist into two halves, with more electronica-oriented songs for the first half, and the more standard, rocky-type tunes on the second half. i only included one cardinals song, and it's a cover anyway (you're welcome), and i put my favorite dylan track from "time out of mind" at the end as a sort of coda because, let's face it, it's really better than all the other songs on the tracklist combined.
here's the list:
1. The Flaming Lips - Fight Test
2. Nujabes Featuring Substantial and Pase Rock - Blessing It (Remix)
3. Radiohead - Weird Fishes/Arpeggi
4. Stereolab - Hallucinex
5. Girl Talk - Hold Up
6. Nujabes Featuring Cise Starr and Akin - Feather
7. Jurassic 5 - Influence
8. Nujabes - The Final view
9. Radiohead - Reckoner
10. Wilco - Heavy Metal Drummer (Alternate Version)
11. The Jayhawks - Tailspin
12. The Rolling Stones - Shine A Light (Live)
13. Coldplay - God Put A Smile On Your Face
14. Grant-Lee Phillips - I Often Dream of Trains
15. Norah Jones - Thinking About You
16. Bert Jansch - Hey Pretty Girl
17. Grant-Lee Phillips - City of Refuge
18. Ryan Adams and the Cardinals - Down In A Hole
19. Coldplay - The Scientist
20. Bob Dylan - Trying To Get To Heaven
and here's the jamz.
so, here's another new thing i want to start doing. getting back to making mixtapes, writing occasional reviews, and making best-of music lists. not because i think my opinion is really well informed or matters, but just because it's fun. so here's my first mixtape, made entirely from albums i played on my way to and from salem and seattle this past weekend. i listened to a lot of not-ryan adams stuff (believe it or not), but then when i sat down to arrange a bunch of the tracks it i realized that the selection sort of precluded a neat song flow. so i basically split the tracklist into two halves, with more electronica-oriented songs for the first half, and the more standard, rocky-type tunes on the second half. i only included one cardinals song, and it's a cover anyway (you're welcome), and i put my favorite dylan track from "time out of mind" at the end as a sort of coda because, let's face it, it's really better than all the other songs on the tracklist combined.
here's the list:
1. The Flaming Lips - Fight Test
2. Nujabes Featuring Substantial and Pase Rock - Blessing It (Remix)
3. Radiohead - Weird Fishes/Arpeggi
4. Stereolab - Hallucinex
5. Girl Talk - Hold Up
6. Nujabes Featuring Cise Starr and Akin - Feather
7. Jurassic 5 - Influence
8. Nujabes - The Final view
9. Radiohead - Reckoner
10. Wilco - Heavy Metal Drummer (Alternate Version)
11. The Jayhawks - Tailspin
12. The Rolling Stones - Shine A Light (Live)
13. Coldplay - God Put A Smile On Your Face
14. Grant-Lee Phillips - I Often Dream of Trains
15. Norah Jones - Thinking About You
16. Bert Jansch - Hey Pretty Girl
17. Grant-Lee Phillips - City of Refuge
18. Ryan Adams and the Cardinals - Down In A Hole
19. Coldplay - The Scientist
20. Bob Dylan - Trying To Get To Heaven
and here's the jamz.
TRAVEL JOURNAL - 1/30
(continued from 1/29.2)
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She was waggling a registration slip for the park in the air, a little yellow thing the color of the leaves. You were supposed to pay by dropping two dollars into the registration box at the trailhead and then posting your registration slip in the front windshield of your car before you started hiking. Almost no one actually did this, but I had a soft spot for this particular trail, a favorite of Ellie’s and mine, and so I always made sure we left our two dollars. We took turns paying, and it was Ellie’s turn this time. I had paid all in dimes and nickels last time, to both of our amusement.
“Do you have a dollar?” she asked. “I only have one.” Somehow, the way she said it made it not a question.
I felt like rolling my eyes, but I restrained myself and pulled out my wallet, rifled through the assortment of old receipts mixed in with my bills. I had a dollar, but I almost told Ellie I didn’t. Why would I do something like that? It’s just a stupid dollar. I just didn’t want to give it to her. Teach her a lesson for forgetting her money for what suddenly seemed like the thousandth time. Or was I just being childish in return to what I perceived as her irresponsibility?
Now I was annoyed at myself instead of her. I felt like I was being petty, but on some level, it seemed like it would feel good to make her pay for the registration. After all, it was her turn. I sighed and pulled out my dollar, handed it to her, still not sure why I was doing it. Or why I cared so much that I was doing it.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. I had hoped my one-man argument had gone unnoticed. Apparently I was more transparent than I thought.
“Nothing. Can we just get going?” I tried to make this sound as amiable as I could.
“Yeah. Put this in the window.” Her voice was that artificially light tone, the tone that meant she was letting me get away with something just because she was too tired to drag it out of me. That was good enough for me at the moment. She tore off the edge of the registration slip, and I stuck it to the windshield from the inside, locked the car up and turned back to the trailhead. I caught sight of her up ahead, already heading around the first bend and up the hill.
I followed quickly, determined to catch her for whatever reason, scuffling my boot heels the whole way so she couldn’t help but hear me coming. I pulled alongside her quickly enough, then slowed down to keep pace, ignoring the feeling of her eyes burning into the side of my head and watching my own shoes, waiting to see which one of us would crack, or if we’d get all the way to the top of the hill without saying anything. My money was on the latter. Ellie was stubborn, I was apathetic. The race was on.
The trail up to the summit—which itself was more of a plateau than a peak—was a series of increasingly steeper switchbacks, and as we started up the first hill, I found myself following Ellie’s pendulum ponytail again. She’d surged ahead of me while I was watching the parking lot fall away to our left. This time, I was happy to leave her up there. I have a neurotic compulsion to micromanage every hiking experience, and being able to see everyone else involved ahead of me is a lot easier than having to repeatedly look behind me to make sure nobody has died, or fallen off a ledge. And died.
Regardless of circumstances, I was still far short of the point of wanting Ellie to fall off a ledge. To be entirely fair, I had started out a long time ago holding her to a set of standards that she simply couldn’t have met—it wasn’t that these standards were extreme, necessarily, only that she wasn’t the person that I thought I needed. And, of course, it was all too easy for me to make that her fault.
All of these wonderful realizations would come later on, however. For now, I was angry and chasing her up the second switchback now, in a hurry, paradoxically, to get to the top, so that we could get back to the bottom and I could go home. Once upon a time, I had really enjoyed the weekends; getting away from my job was almost an impossible proposition in general, but occasionally spending a day outdoors with Ellie was the one way to guarantee that there wouldn’t be papers, or proposals, or gradebooks or attendance sheets on my mind for awhile. Somewhere along the line, though, the sheer weight of pretending that things between us were still as they had always been had crushed the free, diversionary spirit of our outings. Now, I was obligated to come along hiking when asked because to decline would mean skirting all-to-close to the truth: that things had changed. It was the same reason that Ellie still expressed “interest” in my writing, and why I accepted her false interest as genuine even though I knew better.
Third switchback. This one is particularly nasty in the sense that even the turn that leads into this switchback from the previous one is on an incline, so that you don’t even get the brief, but appreciated break that results when you at least get to make the turn on a flat patch of ground. Ellie pivoted military-style and stomped off up the trail without breaking stride. I was bewildered at her annoyance. I was the one being drug along here. Of course, it would never occur to me until much later that in this, as well as in many other situations, her frustration may well have been born of the same mother as mine—she didn’t want to be here, but wanted even less to tell me the truth.
I stopped for a moment to catch my breath, bending over and resting my palms on my knees like I had as an outfielder, years ago. Ellie continued on ahead. I let her. I wouldn’t have normally had this much trouble with the climb; thanks to the excellent location of the second-story loft we’d been renting for the last two years, I was able to walk both to work and to downtown on a daily basis, even during the winter. Generally, I had been in the best shape of my life for the last two years. Specifically, I had started smoking cigarettes lately as the pressure of the end of the semester had settled in, and it was hard to breathe in the chilly-for-April air.
I tried to catch my breath for a moment while shuffling my feet at the edge of a small patch of half-melted snow that must have been, judging by the configuration of rocks and trees around it, in the shade constantly for the last week since the snow had stopped falling. When my lungs still refused to cooperate, I straightened up and looked out over the boulder in front of me, through the trees that were just starting to show green needles thirty or so feet up their thin paper-peeling trunks. Beyond the trees was the rolling ocean of earth known as the Palouse, still covered by patches of snow in places, where the rises were pronounced enough that the fall between them was kept from the rays of a wan early-spring sun. Everywhere else it was the color of dead earth. Soon, maybe even in a matter of weeks, spring would take hold in earnest and the colors would change, the snow would melt, and the wheat which would eventually bend in the autumn wind would start sprouting in various greens. But not yet. Not today.
Ellie was almost out of sight at this point, around the next switchback. I could hear what I assumed was Emma and her entourage coming up behind me, a hill or so away. I didn’t really want to become entangled in either of these distractions, so I blew one more breath out in another cloud of steam and tromped off up the hill.
I only got a few steps before realizing that the shoestring from my right boot was whipping against my ankle with each step. Groaning at yet another distraction, I knelt down and was unsurprised to find that the reason the shoestring had come undone was because there simply wasn’t much of that shoestring left. I had had these hiking boots, gaudy green-and-gold as they were, for years, and they had been on all sorts of adventures with me. I had barely survived some of those adventures in one piece; it seemed unfair to hold my shoestring to a higher standard. I tied knots in what was left of both ends of the string so that it couldn’t slide completely out of the eyelets, and tucked the leftover string into the side of my boot. This hike was maybe two miles long, and I doubted my little equipment failure would give me any serious trouble in that amount of time.
By this time, Emma and company had caught up to me, and I decided to stay hunkered down in the hopes that they would simply pass by. I don’t normally have problems talking to strangers, but the cold and Ellie were making me defensive, and I just wanted to be ignored. Too bad for me.
“Hey!” A voice that could only have been Emma’s exploded right next to my ear. I almost fell over on my side. I turned in terror to see a face no more than six inches away from mine: chubby child cheeks with cold-flushed dimples, curly hair sticking out of a knit wool hat bearing running deer in too many colors, and bright blue eyes that saw past my apparently insignificant angst.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
She was waggling a registration slip for the park in the air, a little yellow thing the color of the leaves. You were supposed to pay by dropping two dollars into the registration box at the trailhead and then posting your registration slip in the front windshield of your car before you started hiking. Almost no one actually did this, but I had a soft spot for this particular trail, a favorite of Ellie’s and mine, and so I always made sure we left our two dollars. We took turns paying, and it was Ellie’s turn this time. I had paid all in dimes and nickels last time, to both of our amusement.
“Do you have a dollar?” she asked. “I only have one.” Somehow, the way she said it made it not a question.
I felt like rolling my eyes, but I restrained myself and pulled out my wallet, rifled through the assortment of old receipts mixed in with my bills. I had a dollar, but I almost told Ellie I didn’t. Why would I do something like that? It’s just a stupid dollar. I just didn’t want to give it to her. Teach her a lesson for forgetting her money for what suddenly seemed like the thousandth time. Or was I just being childish in return to what I perceived as her irresponsibility?
Now I was annoyed at myself instead of her. I felt like I was being petty, but on some level, it seemed like it would feel good to make her pay for the registration. After all, it was her turn. I sighed and pulled out my dollar, handed it to her, still not sure why I was doing it. Or why I cared so much that I was doing it.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. I had hoped my one-man argument had gone unnoticed. Apparently I was more transparent than I thought.
“Nothing. Can we just get going?” I tried to make this sound as amiable as I could.
“Yeah. Put this in the window.” Her voice was that artificially light tone, the tone that meant she was letting me get away with something just because she was too tired to drag it out of me. That was good enough for me at the moment. She tore off the edge of the registration slip, and I stuck it to the windshield from the inside, locked the car up and turned back to the trailhead. I caught sight of her up ahead, already heading around the first bend and up the hill.
I followed quickly, determined to catch her for whatever reason, scuffling my boot heels the whole way so she couldn’t help but hear me coming. I pulled alongside her quickly enough, then slowed down to keep pace, ignoring the feeling of her eyes burning into the side of my head and watching my own shoes, waiting to see which one of us would crack, or if we’d get all the way to the top of the hill without saying anything. My money was on the latter. Ellie was stubborn, I was apathetic. The race was on.
The trail up to the summit—which itself was more of a plateau than a peak—was a series of increasingly steeper switchbacks, and as we started up the first hill, I found myself following Ellie’s pendulum ponytail again. She’d surged ahead of me while I was watching the parking lot fall away to our left. This time, I was happy to leave her up there. I have a neurotic compulsion to micromanage every hiking experience, and being able to see everyone else involved ahead of me is a lot easier than having to repeatedly look behind me to make sure nobody has died, or fallen off a ledge. And died.
Regardless of circumstances, I was still far short of the point of wanting Ellie to fall off a ledge. To be entirely fair, I had started out a long time ago holding her to a set of standards that she simply couldn’t have met—it wasn’t that these standards were extreme, necessarily, only that she wasn’t the person that I thought I needed. And, of course, it was all too easy for me to make that her fault.
All of these wonderful realizations would come later on, however. For now, I was angry and chasing her up the second switchback now, in a hurry, paradoxically, to get to the top, so that we could get back to the bottom and I could go home. Once upon a time, I had really enjoyed the weekends; getting away from my job was almost an impossible proposition in general, but occasionally spending a day outdoors with Ellie was the one way to guarantee that there wouldn’t be papers, or proposals, or gradebooks or attendance sheets on my mind for awhile. Somewhere along the line, though, the sheer weight of pretending that things between us were still as they had always been had crushed the free, diversionary spirit of our outings. Now, I was obligated to come along hiking when asked because to decline would mean skirting all-to-close to the truth: that things had changed. It was the same reason that Ellie still expressed “interest” in my writing, and why I accepted her false interest as genuine even though I knew better.
Third switchback. This one is particularly nasty in the sense that even the turn that leads into this switchback from the previous one is on an incline, so that you don’t even get the brief, but appreciated break that results when you at least get to make the turn on a flat patch of ground. Ellie pivoted military-style and stomped off up the trail without breaking stride. I was bewildered at her annoyance. I was the one being drug along here. Of course, it would never occur to me until much later that in this, as well as in many other situations, her frustration may well have been born of the same mother as mine—she didn’t want to be here, but wanted even less to tell me the truth.
I stopped for a moment to catch my breath, bending over and resting my palms on my knees like I had as an outfielder, years ago. Ellie continued on ahead. I let her. I wouldn’t have normally had this much trouble with the climb; thanks to the excellent location of the second-story loft we’d been renting for the last two years, I was able to walk both to work and to downtown on a daily basis, even during the winter. Generally, I had been in the best shape of my life for the last two years. Specifically, I had started smoking cigarettes lately as the pressure of the end of the semester had settled in, and it was hard to breathe in the chilly-for-April air.
I tried to catch my breath for a moment while shuffling my feet at the edge of a small patch of half-melted snow that must have been, judging by the configuration of rocks and trees around it, in the shade constantly for the last week since the snow had stopped falling. When my lungs still refused to cooperate, I straightened up and looked out over the boulder in front of me, through the trees that were just starting to show green needles thirty or so feet up their thin paper-peeling trunks. Beyond the trees was the rolling ocean of earth known as the Palouse, still covered by patches of snow in places, where the rises were pronounced enough that the fall between them was kept from the rays of a wan early-spring sun. Everywhere else it was the color of dead earth. Soon, maybe even in a matter of weeks, spring would take hold in earnest and the colors would change, the snow would melt, and the wheat which would eventually bend in the autumn wind would start sprouting in various greens. But not yet. Not today.
Ellie was almost out of sight at this point, around the next switchback. I could hear what I assumed was Emma and her entourage coming up behind me, a hill or so away. I didn’t really want to become entangled in either of these distractions, so I blew one more breath out in another cloud of steam and tromped off up the hill.
I only got a few steps before realizing that the shoestring from my right boot was whipping against my ankle with each step. Groaning at yet another distraction, I knelt down and was unsurprised to find that the reason the shoestring had come undone was because there simply wasn’t much of that shoestring left. I had had these hiking boots, gaudy green-and-gold as they were, for years, and they had been on all sorts of adventures with me. I had barely survived some of those adventures in one piece; it seemed unfair to hold my shoestring to a higher standard. I tied knots in what was left of both ends of the string so that it couldn’t slide completely out of the eyelets, and tucked the leftover string into the side of my boot. This hike was maybe two miles long, and I doubted my little equipment failure would give me any serious trouble in that amount of time.
By this time, Emma and company had caught up to me, and I decided to stay hunkered down in the hopes that they would simply pass by. I don’t normally have problems talking to strangers, but the cold and Ellie were making me defensive, and I just wanted to be ignored. Too bad for me.
“Hey!” A voice that could only have been Emma’s exploded right next to my ear. I almost fell over on my side. I turned in terror to see a face no more than six inches away from mine: chubby child cheeks with cold-flushed dimples, curly hair sticking out of a knit wool hat bearing running deer in too many colors, and bright blue eyes that saw past my apparently insignificant angst.
Jan 29, 2008
TRAVEL JOURNAL - 1/29.2
here's the beginning of a story i actually started awhile back. and might finish someday. with enough ruby red squirt and m&m's, anything's possible. hey, by the way, why the fuck are they "m&m's" instead of "m&ms"? god, sometimes i feel like the whole world's against me!
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The day was the color of gravel. Dull colors, dull edges, crushing weight. It was cold, but I didn’t mind; seeing my breath in the air let me imagine I was releasing my ambivalence into the air in crystalline clouds. The sky was the gray of a midwest winter, apparently having followed me all the way from Illinois to the west coast. The lack of sunlight cast a pall on the usually verdant evergreens ahead, and the autumn-tinged trees crowning the hilltop ahead looked like tarnished gold.
But maybe it was just me.
The wind picked up a bit, blowing hair into my eyes. I quickly brushed it away and stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets, feeling the crumpled-up random paper detritus that always seemed to accumulate in them despite my best efforts.
Hunching my shoulders against the wind, I turned around to face downwind when a shriek tore my gaze from the dirt path at my feet. Not an I’m-getting-murdered shriek, but a happy-little-girl shriek, it turned out. Across the way, a nuclear family was tumbling from an SUV, all in Yippie outdoors gear except for the youngest daughter, maybe four years old, who was in t-shirt and jeans. Her face was still covered in summer freckles and she was galloping across the parking lot, giggling. Dad, bemused, turned and shouted: “Emma! Come back here please!” His tone was plaintive, as if disobeying would have no real consequences, but Emma came back anyway, scrambling up onto his shoulders like a monkey.
“Dad!” she yelped, “It’s cold! I’m cold!”
“I know, Emma,” he said, this time his voice indulgent, “we’re going to get your coat.” He paused for a moment, readjusting the girl balanced on his shoulders. “Are you sure you left it here?”
“I’m sure, Daddy!” she squealed.
The voices continued and the other family members melted into the mix, warm sounds in the cold air. I was distracted by the sound of footsteps from a few feet behind me.
It was Ellie, and she’d come up behind me like she always does, somehow soundless without putting any effort into it. She was wearing a pastel-green jacket and pants totally at odds with the flood of colorlessness around us. Her hair was pulled back, and I could see where her dimples would have been if she had been smiling.
A memory popped into my head. Eleanor. I remembered how exotic it had seemed at first to be dating an Eleanor, like she had come from to me from Cornwall, England instead of Iowa City, Iowa. Like she was a nymph or a princess instead of a girl. I didn’t feel that way anymore.
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The day was the color of gravel. Dull colors, dull edges, crushing weight. It was cold, but I didn’t mind; seeing my breath in the air let me imagine I was releasing my ambivalence into the air in crystalline clouds. The sky was the gray of a midwest winter, apparently having followed me all the way from Illinois to the west coast. The lack of sunlight cast a pall on the usually verdant evergreens ahead, and the autumn-tinged trees crowning the hilltop ahead looked like tarnished gold.
But maybe it was just me.
The wind picked up a bit, blowing hair into my eyes. I quickly brushed it away and stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets, feeling the crumpled-up random paper detritus that always seemed to accumulate in them despite my best efforts.
Hunching my shoulders against the wind, I turned around to face downwind when a shriek tore my gaze from the dirt path at my feet. Not an I’m-getting-murdered shriek, but a happy-little-girl shriek, it turned out. Across the way, a nuclear family was tumbling from an SUV, all in Yippie outdoors gear except for the youngest daughter, maybe four years old, who was in t-shirt and jeans. Her face was still covered in summer freckles and she was galloping across the parking lot, giggling. Dad, bemused, turned and shouted: “Emma! Come back here please!” His tone was plaintive, as if disobeying would have no real consequences, but Emma came back anyway, scrambling up onto his shoulders like a monkey.
“Dad!” she yelped, “It’s cold! I’m cold!”
“I know, Emma,” he said, this time his voice indulgent, “we’re going to get your coat.” He paused for a moment, readjusting the girl balanced on his shoulders. “Are you sure you left it here?”
“I’m sure, Daddy!” she squealed.
The voices continued and the other family members melted into the mix, warm sounds in the cold air. I was distracted by the sound of footsteps from a few feet behind me.
It was Ellie, and she’d come up behind me like she always does, somehow soundless without putting any effort into it. She was wearing a pastel-green jacket and pants totally at odds with the flood of colorlessness around us. Her hair was pulled back, and I could see where her dimples would have been if she had been smiling.
A memory popped into my head. Eleanor. I remembered how exotic it had seemed at first to be dating an Eleanor, like she had come from to me from Cornwall, England instead of Iowa City, Iowa. Like she was a nymph or a princess instead of a girl. I didn’t feel that way anymore.
revenge of the pass, part nineteen
how many times have i attempted crossing the pass from Seattle in a car? how many times has something horrible and life-threatening befallen me in the process? i'm not sure what the answer is to either of those questions, but the point is that the answer to both of them is the same number. whatever it is.
this time, it was during my return from the saturday night cardinals show that i was (not caught in a flash flood, not subject to a timing belt razoring through the rest of my car, not subject to a dying car battery) o'ertaken by a massive snow storm and pummeled for most of what became a 7 hour odyssey instead of a lazy afternoon driving 240 miles. this drive was complicated not only by the snow, but also by the fact that for some reason ford felt compelled to outfit its ford focus hatchback with 13 inch tires that are approximately 2 inches wide and made of toothpicks and hate. it seemed a depressingly appropriate way to welcome me back from my idyllic 2-day vacation, actually. i tried to take some pictures, so i'll go heavy on those and light on words. especially since my next post is going to have a shitload of words.
driving the desert en route to salem:
the elsinore theatre in salem:
the paramount, in seattle:
the storm gathering:
the road gets a taste of storm-justice:
the road reaches 50% insanity:
the road reaches 110% insanity:
this time, it was during my return from the saturday night cardinals show that i was (not caught in a flash flood, not subject to a timing belt razoring through the rest of my car, not subject to a dying car battery) o'ertaken by a massive snow storm and pummeled for most of what became a 7 hour odyssey instead of a lazy afternoon driving 240 miles. this drive was complicated not only by the snow, but also by the fact that for some reason ford felt compelled to outfit its ford focus hatchback with 13 inch tires that are approximately 2 inches wide and made of toothpicks and hate. it seemed a depressingly appropriate way to welcome me back from my idyllic 2-day vacation, actually. i tried to take some pictures, so i'll go heavy on those and light on words. especially since my next post is going to have a shitload of words.
driving the desert en route to salem:
the elsinore theatre in salem:
the paramount, in seattle:
the storm gathering:
the road gets a taste of storm-justice:
the road reaches 50% insanity:
the road reaches 110% insanity:
MADDEN - 1/29
the last two games have been ugly wins. but they've still been wins. the niners advanced to 8-0 in regular season play after going 0-4 in the preseason. despite injuries in the secondary (adrian wilson lost for 8 weeks to an ankle injury and rashad holman playing an average of one quarter a game for the last three games), the defense has been mostly on, giving up a total of 29 points in the two games.
the first one was against the eagles, and despite a lot of mistakes, like a missing field goal and two red zone interceptions, the niners were able to pull it out thanks to the defense holding the eagles to six points total on three straight first and goals from inside the 10, and a 95 yard mike prewett touchdown catch (a new NFL record):
the eagles managed to take the lead late in the game, 20-17, but the niners scored right back and then jason webster picked off donovan mcnabb with a minute left to seal the deal:
tonight's game was against the broncos, with drew bledsoe as their new quarterback, and clinton portis as their new(ish) running back. portis got over 100 yards, the first time someone's rushed for over 100 yards against the niners in quite some time. between the two teams, only two touchdowns were scored (both by the niners) and there were 9 field goal attempts, 5 of which were good. stewart went 2 for 5 on field goals, and jason elam missed a 30 yarder in absolutely dead air. in addition, the niners fumbled 4 times in the fourth quarter, and still managed to hold on to win 20-9 thanks to another great defensive effort. barber racked up 111 yards receiving, including this TD catch, but otherwise the offense was largely silent:
the next potential victims in what's becoming a terrifyingly good season are the 3-5 vikings.
the first one was against the eagles, and despite a lot of mistakes, like a missing field goal and two red zone interceptions, the niners were able to pull it out thanks to the defense holding the eagles to six points total on three straight first and goals from inside the 10, and a 95 yard mike prewett touchdown catch (a new NFL record):
the eagles managed to take the lead late in the game, 20-17, but the niners scored right back and then jason webster picked off donovan mcnabb with a minute left to seal the deal:
tonight's game was against the broncos, with drew bledsoe as their new quarterback, and clinton portis as their new(ish) running back. portis got over 100 yards, the first time someone's rushed for over 100 yards against the niners in quite some time. between the two teams, only two touchdowns were scored (both by the niners) and there were 9 field goal attempts, 5 of which were good. stewart went 2 for 5 on field goals, and jason elam missed a 30 yarder in absolutely dead air. in addition, the niners fumbled 4 times in the fourth quarter, and still managed to hold on to win 20-9 thanks to another great defensive effort. barber racked up 111 yards receiving, including this TD catch, but otherwise the offense was largely silent:
the next potential victims in what's becoming a terrifyingly good season are the 3-5 vikings.
TRAVEL JOURNAL - 1/29
okay, so i'm also planning on starting a new sort of feature-y thing on here that actually involves real writing (songwriting, story writing, poetry writing, etc.) last spring i was in a travel literature class, and we had to write in a journal that we kept with us every single day, just to get us used to keeping in the habit of writing, regardless of what we were writing about.
well anyway, it was really fun and really helped my writing, but there was so much else going on at the time that i gave it up as soon as the class was over. now that i have (relatively) some free time, i'm going to pick it up again. i'm going to try to stick mostly to narratives and similar things, but i've also written some weird poems in it before and also a few songs (Back To Ohio was actually written during a class period originally before i cleaned it up). so anyway, i'll denote these posts by always starting them with "TRAVEL JOURNAL" that way you know to either jump right to them or skip them and jump directly to the drivel, depending on how your tastes go. i'll try to post the first one tonight, along with another set of madden screenshots and maybe some pictures of my trip...
well anyway, it was really fun and really helped my writing, but there was so much else going on at the time that i gave it up as soon as the class was over. now that i have (relatively) some free time, i'm going to pick it up again. i'm going to try to stick mostly to narratives and similar things, but i've also written some weird poems in it before and also a few songs (Back To Ohio was actually written during a class period originally before i cleaned it up). so anyway, i'll denote these posts by always starting them with "TRAVEL JOURNAL" that way you know to either jump right to them or skip them and jump directly to the drivel, depending on how your tastes go. i'll try to post the first one tonight, along with another set of madden screenshots and maybe some pictures of my trip...
seattle show setlist
for the couple of cards fans that read my pitiful blog, here's the setlist from the fantastic seattle show the other night. i'm still waiting for tapes to pop up, but once they do i'll post a few .mp3s also. at least one person was at the soundboard each night, so here's hoping for a quick turnaround :)
(from the RAA):
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bartering Lines
Peaceful Valley>
Mockingbird
The Rescue Blues
Rip Off
The Sun Also Sets
Beautiful Sorta
You Don't See Me Crying (Neal Casal)
Shakedown on 9th St.
Please Do Not Let Me Go
banter - Ryan farted on stage
Oh My Sweet Carolina
Wonderwall
SHOUT OUT TO RAA - "this song goes out to RAA"!!!!!!!!!
Everybody Knows
When Stars Go Blue
Two
Let It Ride
Set Break
Pearls on a String
Come Pick Me Up
Ryan takes a pic of the whole crowd for a new "movie"
Cold Roses
A Kiss Before I Go
Halloween Head
Down In A Hole
Easy Plateau
Thanks to ManandGodandLaw & locke456 for the setlist
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
i still can't get over how great this second show (and hell, the whole weekend) was.
(from the RAA):
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bartering Lines
Peaceful Valley>
Mockingbird
The Rescue Blues
Rip Off
The Sun Also Sets
Beautiful Sorta
You Don't See Me Crying (Neal Casal)
Shakedown on 9th St.
Please Do Not Let Me Go
banter - Ryan farted on stage
Oh My Sweet Carolina
Wonderwall
SHOUT OUT TO RAA - "this song goes out to RAA"!!!!!!!!!
Everybody Knows
When Stars Go Blue
Two
Let It Ride
Set Break
Pearls on a String
Come Pick Me Up
Ryan takes a pic of the whole crowd for a new "movie"
Cold Roses
A Kiss Before I Go
Halloween Head
Down In A Hole
Easy Plateau
Thanks to ManandGodandLaw & locke456 for the setlist
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
i still can't get over how great this second show (and hell, the whole weekend) was.
Jan 28, 2008
finally, some eloquence
everybody knows how much i love ranting about things i know nothing about. today, though, i thought i'd grace you with a somewhat more well-articulated viewpoint from someone with a little more ethos. so here's an entry from someone else's blog about your friend and mine, the RIAA:
http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2007/10/when-pigs-fly-death-of-oink-birth-of.html
maybe i'll write more about the trip later. there are lots of photos, too, though not really any of the show(s). i've been here for 2 hours and have done nothing, so i probably should at least accomplish something meaningful before i start blogging away.
http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2007/10/when-pigs-fly-death-of-oink-birth-of.html
maybe i'll write more about the trip later. there are lots of photos, too, though not really any of the show(s). i've been here for 2 hours and have done nothing, so i probably should at least accomplish something meaningful before i start blogging away.
Jan 27, 2008
MY FACE IS GONE!!
i have listened to (different than attending i know, but...) at least 200 ryan adams concerts in the last 3-4 years, and last night's show in salem, for my money, beat pretty much all of them. now, i came into seattle tonight thinking how great it would be to even just hear basically the same show, or a marginally to significantly inferior show. little did i know that somehow, someway, the show tonight would blow the freaking crap out of the salem show. i can't type a full-on review right now because i'm literally just too excited to focus on anything other than being excited, but i'll mention some highlights:
- in addition to getting a quick wave from the band last night as they came into the theatre for soundcheck, i ran into ryan outside the paramount tonight, having a smoke. i didn't really do much more than say "hey", linger around for a minute, and then go inside, but it was a total geek-out moment for me. i was going to go up and try to actually talk to him or something, but it was one of those weird moments where i felt guilty about assaulting him when he was most likely just trying to relax for a minute, and so i largely let him off the hook :)
- he dedicated "everybody knows" to RAA.com
- he also took time during the show to direct and film a youtube video using us, the crowd, as his actors
- come pick me up. that is all.
- sweet caroline electric for the second night in a row.
- ridiculous jammed-out rescue blues
- down in a hole acoustic
- and incredible easy plateau (maybe even better than last night) with another wild feedback jam, which ended with ryan on the floor with his guitar, possibly in an homage to the night's AMAZING tour poster, which i just had to buy a copy of despite the fact that i'm now poor as fuck:
it's been a great ride. more, possibly coherent thoughts later, but let me just say that if these guys are touring this summer i may be willing to sell blood plasma or nonvital organs to secure tickets and safe passage. i didn't think i could like this band more than i already did. i was wrong.
- in addition to getting a quick wave from the band last night as they came into the theatre for soundcheck, i ran into ryan outside the paramount tonight, having a smoke. i didn't really do much more than say "hey", linger around for a minute, and then go inside, but it was a total geek-out moment for me. i was going to go up and try to actually talk to him or something, but it was one of those weird moments where i felt guilty about assaulting him when he was most likely just trying to relax for a minute, and so i largely let him off the hook :)
- he dedicated "everybody knows" to RAA.com
- he also took time during the show to direct and film a youtube video using us, the crowd, as his actors
- come pick me up. that is all.
- sweet caroline electric for the second night in a row.
- ridiculous jammed-out rescue blues
- down in a hole acoustic
- and incredible easy plateau (maybe even better than last night) with another wild feedback jam, which ended with ryan on the floor with his guitar, possibly in an homage to the night's AMAZING tour poster, which i just had to buy a copy of despite the fact that i'm now poor as fuck:
it's been a great ride. more, possibly coherent thoughts later, but let me just say that if these guys are touring this summer i may be willing to sell blood plasma or nonvital organs to secure tickets and safe passage. i didn't think i could like this band more than i already did. i was wrong.
Jan 26, 2008
salem show review
(setlist from RAA.com)
Cold Roses
Off Broadway
Mockingbird
Beautiful Sorta
The Rescue Blues
The Sun Also Sets
Everybody Knows
Wonderwall
Oh My Sweet Carolina
When The Stars Go Blue
Oh My God Whatever Etc.
Goodnight Rose>
Bartering Lines>
Jam
I See Monsters
--Set Break--
Elizabeth
Goodnight Hollywood Boulevard
Magnolia Mountain
Pearls On A String (acapella)
A Kiss Before I Go
Easy Plateau
okay, so i'm going to do my usual song-by-song thing, but before i do that, i should note that this was my first cardinals show since May of 2005 (before i even had a copy of cold roses and thusly only knew 2 of the songs played that entire night), and my first time seeing ryan at all since his solo show at the Moore in April of 2006 (which was a good show but marred a bit by the fact that he was heavily under the influence of something at the time and had to be reminded of the lyrics to a few of his songs by the crowd) :) anyway, needless to say i was more than a little bit excited, and the show itself somehow managed to exceed even my expectations. the only negative point of the night was actually just my seat; i was tucked way back on ryan's side of the stage, a few rows back but over far enough that i couldn't see past the sound equipment on stage to see the piano. which was a bit of a bummer during piano songs. otherwise, things were great, except maybe a little weirdness with the house mix early, which was fixed by audience democracy ("GIVE US MORE VOCALS!!!").
i can't say much about the cold roses/off broadway/mockingbird opening other than it was just filthy and had me considering jumping into the aisle and dancing by partway through mockingbird. i don't know if this is a usual thing on this west coast tour, but what seemed to be happening a lot tonight was 1) lots more spacey/feedback-style jamming, and 2) lots of ryan improvising outside of the "usual" melody lines for the songs. and i mean LOTS of improvising. but his voice has just gotten so outrageously better than it even was before lately that this actually makes the songs better for me, not worse. anyway, before i start salivating thinking about it...
rescue blues was great, and seemed pretty much like it's sounded on the recordings from fall, though by this point in the show the guys were all having a really good time and there was a lot of hilarious guitar-fencing between spacewolf and neal. later, they'd get into trouble for encouraging kids to smoke during spacewolf (apparently nightly) public service announcement, but i'll get to that.
i've never been completely sold on "the sun also sets" until tonight, but now i'm a convert. something about seeing it live, and seeing ryan attack the mic stand instead of playing guitar was excellent. he almost missed the "be sure" part snuffing out a cigarette though, which was pretty amusing. everybody knows sort of bled into wonderwall, which started with just ryan and eventually involved the entire band. sweet carolina was electric; i don't know if that's rare or not, but i really, really liked it that way. one of the high points of the night for me. it took them awhile to get started on it, because ryan was heckling a heckler, but it worked really well as a rocked-out version (still with the harmonica).
i think "stars go blue" was pretty standard (i.e. great) but i'm not sure because there was a lot of aisle traffic during it and was playing musical chairs for most of the song :)
OMG, whatever, ETC was ryan in no-guitar mode again. it was a lot like the album version, but again i'm not complaining.
the highlight of this set for me was the rose > bartering lines > jam section (and the jam actually sort of led into i see monsters, if i remember correctly, but i might be wrong). goodnight rose ended in one of the many sort of spacey-style jams and exploded suddenly into bartering lines so perfectly that i vaguely remember (and i'm a really soft-spoken guy) throwing my fist in the air and yelling "YES!!!" or something like that. great way to close the first set (though a few people thought it was the end of the show it was such a bombastic ending and ryan had to come out and explain the set break thing).
second set seemed longer than it looks on the setlist. elizabeth had ryan on piano and goodnight hollywood blvd had him back at the mic stand without the guitar. magnolia mountain was even more extended than usual, with another distortion-heavy jam after the usual sort of zappa jazz-jam that they do. after that, ryan warned everyone that they were going into "triple meltdown mode", but then suddenly asked the guys if they wanted to do a song acapella and so everyone crowded around the mics (ryan yelled at brad to sing, brad threw his sticks at ryan, etc). it was a really great moment, all vocals except for ryan picking out a few notes on his guitar.
the easy plateau was perfect as a show closer (but that's not news, i suppose). there was the usual guitar jam at the end, then a feedback jam, then another guitar jam, and then a really wild detuned-guitar/feedback jam that went on for probably at least 3-4 minutes if not longer before they finally ended it. talk about going out on a high note.
overall, i was just really impressed with how solid these guys are as a band, and how they are visibly having fun up there playing. it's so great to see a band enjoying themselves, and it makes the show 100 times better to watch. i could really tell on a lot of the songs by just watching them play how effortless (or at least spontaneous) a lot of the improvisation and jamming was, and it's clear that they're so comfortable with a lot of these songs which they played so much last year that they seem capable of going pretty much wherever they want with them almost reflexively. i mean, i've always loved ryan's songs, but having never seen this particular band before, i never realized how GOOD they actually are, and it blew me away. i'm glad i'm going up to seattle tomorrow night.
the show was somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3 hours long, but there was also (i'm guessing) 20 minutes at least of banter with the audience. spacewolf telling kids to smoke and then getting chastised for it, ryan threatening to play the huge wurlitzer organ and trying to get a girl to meet him after the show to play video games (after specifying there would be no touching involved), and lots of other great moments banter-wise that i'm sure i'm forgetting.
this was a really great show, and it's already made going even deeper into adjunct instructor-debt totally worth it, and i still have another show to see :) sorry for the length of the review and my 100 percent endorsement of everything that the band did tonight (not being very constructively critical) but they were really just THAT good.
i took some pictures but they came out bad (not 'oh, they're not really that bad' bad, but like REALLY bad) so i'll have to see if anyone else came through on that front :)
Cold Roses
Off Broadway
Mockingbird
Beautiful Sorta
The Rescue Blues
The Sun Also Sets
Everybody Knows
Wonderwall
Oh My Sweet Carolina
When The Stars Go Blue
Oh My God Whatever Etc.
Goodnight Rose>
Bartering Lines>
Jam
I See Monsters
--Set Break--
Elizabeth
Goodnight Hollywood Boulevard
Magnolia Mountain
Pearls On A String (acapella)
A Kiss Before I Go
Easy Plateau
okay, so i'm going to do my usual song-by-song thing, but before i do that, i should note that this was my first cardinals show since May of 2005 (before i even had a copy of cold roses and thusly only knew 2 of the songs played that entire night), and my first time seeing ryan at all since his solo show at the Moore in April of 2006 (which was a good show but marred a bit by the fact that he was heavily under the influence of something at the time and had to be reminded of the lyrics to a few of his songs by the crowd) :) anyway, needless to say i was more than a little bit excited, and the show itself somehow managed to exceed even my expectations. the only negative point of the night was actually just my seat; i was tucked way back on ryan's side of the stage, a few rows back but over far enough that i couldn't see past the sound equipment on stage to see the piano. which was a bit of a bummer during piano songs. otherwise, things were great, except maybe a little weirdness with the house mix early, which was fixed by audience democracy ("GIVE US MORE VOCALS!!!").
i can't say much about the cold roses/off broadway/mockingbird opening other than it was just filthy and had me considering jumping into the aisle and dancing by partway through mockingbird. i don't know if this is a usual thing on this west coast tour, but what seemed to be happening a lot tonight was 1) lots more spacey/feedback-style jamming, and 2) lots of ryan improvising outside of the "usual" melody lines for the songs. and i mean LOTS of improvising. but his voice has just gotten so outrageously better than it even was before lately that this actually makes the songs better for me, not worse. anyway, before i start salivating thinking about it...
rescue blues was great, and seemed pretty much like it's sounded on the recordings from fall, though by this point in the show the guys were all having a really good time and there was a lot of hilarious guitar-fencing between spacewolf and neal. later, they'd get into trouble for encouraging kids to smoke during spacewolf (apparently nightly) public service announcement, but i'll get to that.
i've never been completely sold on "the sun also sets" until tonight, but now i'm a convert. something about seeing it live, and seeing ryan attack the mic stand instead of playing guitar was excellent. he almost missed the "be sure" part snuffing out a cigarette though, which was pretty amusing. everybody knows sort of bled into wonderwall, which started with just ryan and eventually involved the entire band. sweet carolina was electric; i don't know if that's rare or not, but i really, really liked it that way. one of the high points of the night for me. it took them awhile to get started on it, because ryan was heckling a heckler, but it worked really well as a rocked-out version (still with the harmonica).
i think "stars go blue" was pretty standard (i.e. great) but i'm not sure because there was a lot of aisle traffic during it and was playing musical chairs for most of the song :)
OMG, whatever, ETC was ryan in no-guitar mode again. it was a lot like the album version, but again i'm not complaining.
the highlight of this set for me was the rose > bartering lines > jam section (and the jam actually sort of led into i see monsters, if i remember correctly, but i might be wrong). goodnight rose ended in one of the many sort of spacey-style jams and exploded suddenly into bartering lines so perfectly that i vaguely remember (and i'm a really soft-spoken guy) throwing my fist in the air and yelling "YES!!!" or something like that. great way to close the first set (though a few people thought it was the end of the show it was such a bombastic ending and ryan had to come out and explain the set break thing).
second set seemed longer than it looks on the setlist. elizabeth had ryan on piano and goodnight hollywood blvd had him back at the mic stand without the guitar. magnolia mountain was even more extended than usual, with another distortion-heavy jam after the usual sort of zappa jazz-jam that they do. after that, ryan warned everyone that they were going into "triple meltdown mode", but then suddenly asked the guys if they wanted to do a song acapella and so everyone crowded around the mics (ryan yelled at brad to sing, brad threw his sticks at ryan, etc). it was a really great moment, all vocals except for ryan picking out a few notes on his guitar.
the easy plateau was perfect as a show closer (but that's not news, i suppose). there was the usual guitar jam at the end, then a feedback jam, then another guitar jam, and then a really wild detuned-guitar/feedback jam that went on for probably at least 3-4 minutes if not longer before they finally ended it. talk about going out on a high note.
overall, i was just really impressed with how solid these guys are as a band, and how they are visibly having fun up there playing. it's so great to see a band enjoying themselves, and it makes the show 100 times better to watch. i could really tell on a lot of the songs by just watching them play how effortless (or at least spontaneous) a lot of the improvisation and jamming was, and it's clear that they're so comfortable with a lot of these songs which they played so much last year that they seem capable of going pretty much wherever they want with them almost reflexively. i mean, i've always loved ryan's songs, but having never seen this particular band before, i never realized how GOOD they actually are, and it blew me away. i'm glad i'm going up to seattle tomorrow night.
the show was somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3 hours long, but there was also (i'm guessing) 20 minutes at least of banter with the audience. spacewolf telling kids to smoke and then getting chastised for it, ryan threatening to play the huge wurlitzer organ and trying to get a girl to meet him after the show to play video games (after specifying there would be no touching involved), and lots of other great moments banter-wise that i'm sure i'm forgetting.
this was a really great show, and it's already made going even deeper into adjunct instructor-debt totally worth it, and i still have another show to see :) sorry for the length of the review and my 100 percent endorsement of everything that the band did tonight (not being very constructively critical) but they were really just THAT good.
i took some pictures but they came out bad (not 'oh, they're not really that bad' bad, but like REALLY bad) so i'll have to see if anyone else came through on that front :)
Jan 25, 2008
dr. jekyll and mister, hide!
here's me in salem, oregon, without diet coke and candy:
here's me in salem, oregon, with diet coke and candy:
here's the ryan adams and the cardinals show poster from salem, oregon:
the show was face-melting. more details post-shower.
here's me in salem, oregon, with diet coke and candy:
here's the ryan adams and the cardinals show poster from salem, oregon:
the show was face-melting. more details post-shower.
Jan 23, 2008
response to mike's LJ comments
i just busted LJ's comment box with this comment, so i'm posting it here instead because...well, i think i already just said the "because" part at the beginning of the sentence. CAFFEINE ROCKS!
"well first of all, i appreciate the compliments, but i should warn you against casting me as a soothsayer. i've spent a fair amount of my life trying to cultivate a mental attitude that's all about learning and less about validating, and i think maybe that makes me sort of smart about some things, but ultimately what works for me may not work for anyone else.
i guess what i wanted to say this time primarily is that i've found that learning about life so that you can control it just doesn't work. i think this is a general human consensus at least of a subconscious level because while you see a lot of "take control of your life" rhetoric in commercials and in culture, pretty much all major religions and belief systems (atheism, nihilism, etc. included) are all about submitting to something or relinquishing the illusion of control to something bigger than you. i think people realize that that's the truth; ultimately, if nothing else, we all die, and that alone is a pretty big strike against the idea that we control our destinies. but at the same time, especially in our culture there's the "grab the bull by the horns" sort of idea that convinces people that maybe, just maybe, if you become smart enough, handsome enough, rich enough, etc. you can control what happens to you and maybe even to other people. it's an attractive idea, but then one day you find yourself at somebody's funeral and you're sad (which of course you should be) but maybe you also feel a little cheated, like this wasn't supposed to happen because you were in control of your life. i dunno if that makes sense at all. sorry if it doesn't.
i'm not saying it works for everyone, but for me, at least, learning about how life "works" isn't about being able to control the outcomes, it's about being able to handle what those outcomes are without going crazy. i've been crazy and i didn't like it. i don't necessarily want to go back. and for me the best way to avoid that is to admit how small i am and appreciate the big things that happen to me regardless of that fact, whether they're bad big things or good big things. even bad big things contain the opportunity to learn something.
i guess i'm saying that being in control doesn't necessarily equate to wisdom, and the fact that you're even concerned about these sorts of things (which is more than i can say about a lot of people) speaks pretty highly of your own wisdom :)
i'm intrigued by your idea of "Relating to People 101", but I'm wondering if the reason such things aren't taught in a socially normalized way is also because there's really no clear-cut answers in that category, either. all those other things you mention (except perhaps maybe squid or vampires, or The Vampire Squid From Hell) have at least a culturally accepted "right" answer, and that's why we're taught about them in a culturally normalized way. relating to people one-on-one doesn't have that sort of support, and so it really is something that you have to feel your way through depending on who you are and who the person you're trying to relate to is. i think maybe giving people "answers" to those questions would turn everybody into robots.
i mean, we could definitely talk more about relationships in a non-institutionalized way, but we ARE a culture built on the myth of individualism, where everybody that "belongs" to you ultimately is just there to prove how successful and important your own life is. i don't know that there would be a lot of excitement in a massive effort to contradict that opinion. i mean, i agree with you, but i think we're in the minority as far as that goes.
also, i did grow up with a pretty straightforward, black-and-white idea of how at least romantic relationships were supposed to work. and it pretty thoroughly screwed up my first 2, and my third to a lesser degree. so i don't know if i want to go fishing in that pond again anytime soon anyway.
i enjoyed the ryan adams reference, by the way.
also, girls are hot. this is unfortunate because it makes you do stupid things. or not do anything because you are afraid of doing said stupid things. i'm not sure what the answer is to this. i'm not sure that anyone is qualified to teach other people what that answer is in a way that implies that the answer they're hearing is the answer that's right for them. pretty much everyone who is actually really, really smart is that way because they've done lots of really, really stupid things and learned by doing them. i think the folly of our cultural belief system is that it implies that you can get lucky and do everything right and somehow that puts you on top of the world. well, when your luck runs out and you don't know how to deal with it...
i think that applies to women, too. i mean in the sense of having relationships with them. you've got to make some mistakes in order to learn what's right for you. for some women, putting up with these mistakes of yours (and you putting up with theirs) will be acceptable because they (and/or you) are awesome and worth the trouble. sometimes it just won't be that way. but that's how you learn, methinks. it's difficult because in this particular arena, your fucking-up-while-learning is effecting someone else too, and not just you. but that's life. treating them as perfect, beautiful humans that it's your job to please and impress is actually just as bad as sexually objectifying them in a lot of ways. for you and for them. girls are people too. now that's something i wish someone had taught me when i was 14 :)
anyway, i hope i'm not coming off as preachy. when i talk about my personal thoughts for more than a paragraph, my rhetoric tends to get really declarative. i'm not trying to say i'm right, i'm just trying to say i'm right for me, right now, right here. beyond that i make no guarantees :) but maybe it'll at least give you some new angles to ponder.
holla."
"well first of all, i appreciate the compliments, but i should warn you against casting me as a soothsayer. i've spent a fair amount of my life trying to cultivate a mental attitude that's all about learning and less about validating, and i think maybe that makes me sort of smart about some things, but ultimately what works for me may not work for anyone else.
i guess what i wanted to say this time primarily is that i've found that learning about life so that you can control it just doesn't work. i think this is a general human consensus at least of a subconscious level because while you see a lot of "take control of your life" rhetoric in commercials and in culture, pretty much all major religions and belief systems (atheism, nihilism, etc. included) are all about submitting to something or relinquishing the illusion of control to something bigger than you. i think people realize that that's the truth; ultimately, if nothing else, we all die, and that alone is a pretty big strike against the idea that we control our destinies. but at the same time, especially in our culture there's the "grab the bull by the horns" sort of idea that convinces people that maybe, just maybe, if you become smart enough, handsome enough, rich enough, etc. you can control what happens to you and maybe even to other people. it's an attractive idea, but then one day you find yourself at somebody's funeral and you're sad (which of course you should be) but maybe you also feel a little cheated, like this wasn't supposed to happen because you were in control of your life. i dunno if that makes sense at all. sorry if it doesn't.
i'm not saying it works for everyone, but for me, at least, learning about how life "works" isn't about being able to control the outcomes, it's about being able to handle what those outcomes are without going crazy. i've been crazy and i didn't like it. i don't necessarily want to go back. and for me the best way to avoid that is to admit how small i am and appreciate the big things that happen to me regardless of that fact, whether they're bad big things or good big things. even bad big things contain the opportunity to learn something.
i guess i'm saying that being in control doesn't necessarily equate to wisdom, and the fact that you're even concerned about these sorts of things (which is more than i can say about a lot of people) speaks pretty highly of your own wisdom :)
i'm intrigued by your idea of "Relating to People 101", but I'm wondering if the reason such things aren't taught in a socially normalized way is also because there's really no clear-cut answers in that category, either. all those other things you mention (except perhaps maybe squid or vampires, or The Vampire Squid From Hell) have at least a culturally accepted "right" answer, and that's why we're taught about them in a culturally normalized way. relating to people one-on-one doesn't have that sort of support, and so it really is something that you have to feel your way through depending on who you are and who the person you're trying to relate to is. i think maybe giving people "answers" to those questions would turn everybody into robots.
i mean, we could definitely talk more about relationships in a non-institutionalized way, but we ARE a culture built on the myth of individualism, where everybody that "belongs" to you ultimately is just there to prove how successful and important your own life is. i don't know that there would be a lot of excitement in a massive effort to contradict that opinion. i mean, i agree with you, but i think we're in the minority as far as that goes.
also, i did grow up with a pretty straightforward, black-and-white idea of how at least romantic relationships were supposed to work. and it pretty thoroughly screwed up my first 2, and my third to a lesser degree. so i don't know if i want to go fishing in that pond again anytime soon anyway.
i enjoyed the ryan adams reference, by the way.
also, girls are hot. this is unfortunate because it makes you do stupid things. or not do anything because you are afraid of doing said stupid things. i'm not sure what the answer is to this. i'm not sure that anyone is qualified to teach other people what that answer is in a way that implies that the answer they're hearing is the answer that's right for them. pretty much everyone who is actually really, really smart is that way because they've done lots of really, really stupid things and learned by doing them. i think the folly of our cultural belief system is that it implies that you can get lucky and do everything right and somehow that puts you on top of the world. well, when your luck runs out and you don't know how to deal with it...
i think that applies to women, too. i mean in the sense of having relationships with them. you've got to make some mistakes in order to learn what's right for you. for some women, putting up with these mistakes of yours (and you putting up with theirs) will be acceptable because they (and/or you) are awesome and worth the trouble. sometimes it just won't be that way. but that's how you learn, methinks. it's difficult because in this particular arena, your fucking-up-while-learning is effecting someone else too, and not just you. but that's life. treating them as perfect, beautiful humans that it's your job to please and impress is actually just as bad as sexually objectifying them in a lot of ways. for you and for them. girls are people too. now that's something i wish someone had taught me when i was 14 :)
anyway, i hope i'm not coming off as preachy. when i talk about my personal thoughts for more than a paragraph, my rhetoric tends to get really declarative. i'm not trying to say i'm right, i'm just trying to say i'm right for me, right now, right here. beyond that i make no guarantees :) but maybe it'll at least give you some new angles to ponder.
holla."
Jan 22, 2008
big wheels keep on rollin'
more madden news for you nerds.
the niner machine has now outscored their opponents 172 - 100 in the first five games of the season after obliterating perennial contender Green Bay 41-17. in the first showdown in three years between league leading quarterbacks Bunting and Favre, Favre went 30/54 for 446 yards and 2 TDs, but also threw 2 INTs, one which was run back 60 yards for a touchdown and the other that was picked off in the endzone and run back 75 yards, both by Sparks.
Bunting went 23/36 for 262 yards and 3 TDs, with 1 INT, but once again the difference was Bowes, who ran for over 125 yards and a touchdown to Ahman Green's 36 yards on the ground.
Favre also got sacked numerous times, but none more hilarious than this one, which involved Favre tripping over a lineman who was already down on the turf and then falling on his face:
the niner machine has now outscored their opponents 172 - 100 in the first five games of the season after obliterating perennial contender Green Bay 41-17. in the first showdown in three years between league leading quarterbacks Bunting and Favre, Favre went 30/54 for 446 yards and 2 TDs, but also threw 2 INTs, one which was run back 60 yards for a touchdown and the other that was picked off in the endzone and run back 75 yards, both by Sparks.
Bunting went 23/36 for 262 yards and 3 TDs, with 1 INT, but once again the difference was Bowes, who ran for over 125 yards and a touchdown to Ahman Green's 36 yards on the ground.
Favre also got sacked numerous times, but none more hilarious than this one, which involved Favre tripping over a lineman who was already down on the turf and then falling on his face:
Jan 20, 2008
OH HOLY DAY!
after yesterday's 13-hour music-work bender, i figured i'd take today off. my original plan was to do the infamous Bunting "Go To A Romantic Movie Alone" thing, but it snowed like Jay-Z drops rhymes last night and i was just too damn lazy to dig my car out. soooo...i fell back on my other awesome hobby: playing madden football and posting screenshots on my blog.
today was the first of two times in the season that the rams were in town. any old-school blog fan knows my infuriating history with the rams, who for five seasons have been my main obstacle in winning the NFC west. how happy was i to find out that the aging kurt warner (it's something like 2009 in my franchise mode) was injured again and unable to compete? nonetheless, with the rams sporting the NFL's best defense (far and away the best), it wasn't going to be an easy win. OR WAS IT?!
i know. the suspense is killing you.
35-9.
here's how:
1. Turnovers. Early on, Mike Stewart scooped up a screen pass that went behind the line of scrimmage and was dropped as a fumble, leading to a field goal that made it 3-0. Shortly thereafter, Sparks picked off a pass to Torry Holt when it was deflected up into the air.
The Rams looked to be trying to mount a comeback early in the third quarter when they stopped the Niners cold and got the ball back while trailing 15-3, but Mike Stewart intercepted a screen pass and ran it 67 yards back for a touchdown.
Very late in the game, trailing 22-3, the Rams finally managed to get into the red zone, and get a pass to Holt on a slant route, but Sparks came through again and literally ripped the ball out of his hands in the air.
2 INTs for Sparks, one and a fumble recovery and TD for Stewart, and constant pressure on the QB all night made sure the Rams couldn't get points. Also, holding them to 19 rushing yards didn't hurt.
2. Great throws/catches. The Rams have, by far, the best secondary in the league, but there were some extremely well-placed throws at crucial points that even they couldn't stop. Like, for example, this pass to Prewett that went just inches over Herring's fingertips as he went up for the interception.
3. The Running Game. There was no way we could just go directly up against the Rams defense in this type of game; luckily the running game was able to keep grinding out first downs in a methodical fashion. Even the best defense in the world isn't going to be able to keep up if they're on the field for 21 minutes of a 30 minute half (like they were in the first half of this game). Bowes got 114 yards, his first 100 yard game since the season started (and the difficulty level got cranked up). He would have had a lot less, but he was nigh untackleable and kept squeezing through holes that would have devoured lesser men. By the third quarter, it was regularly taking 3-4 guys to bring him down.
Hell, even I ran for over 50 yards, and I'm the quarterback.
Well, we're 4-0 after being 0-4 in the preseason. I think I'm adjusting to the new difficulty level and while I haven't gotten down the next field goal kicking routine yet (Stewart's missed 3 in 4 games, a new career low), we've been able to get close enough most of the time that it hasn't much mattered (he made 5 of 6 field goals in this game). Next up, Green Bay and that bastard Sylvester.
today was the first of two times in the season that the rams were in town. any old-school blog fan knows my infuriating history with the rams, who for five seasons have been my main obstacle in winning the NFC west. how happy was i to find out that the aging kurt warner (it's something like 2009 in my franchise mode) was injured again and unable to compete? nonetheless, with the rams sporting the NFL's best defense (far and away the best), it wasn't going to be an easy win. OR WAS IT?!
i know. the suspense is killing you.
35-9.
here's how:
1. Turnovers. Early on, Mike Stewart scooped up a screen pass that went behind the line of scrimmage and was dropped as a fumble, leading to a field goal that made it 3-0. Shortly thereafter, Sparks picked off a pass to Torry Holt when it was deflected up into the air.
The Rams looked to be trying to mount a comeback early in the third quarter when they stopped the Niners cold and got the ball back while trailing 15-3, but Mike Stewart intercepted a screen pass and ran it 67 yards back for a touchdown.
Very late in the game, trailing 22-3, the Rams finally managed to get into the red zone, and get a pass to Holt on a slant route, but Sparks came through again and literally ripped the ball out of his hands in the air.
2 INTs for Sparks, one and a fumble recovery and TD for Stewart, and constant pressure on the QB all night made sure the Rams couldn't get points. Also, holding them to 19 rushing yards didn't hurt.
2. Great throws/catches. The Rams have, by far, the best secondary in the league, but there were some extremely well-placed throws at crucial points that even they couldn't stop. Like, for example, this pass to Prewett that went just inches over Herring's fingertips as he went up for the interception.
3. The Running Game. There was no way we could just go directly up against the Rams defense in this type of game; luckily the running game was able to keep grinding out first downs in a methodical fashion. Even the best defense in the world isn't going to be able to keep up if they're on the field for 21 minutes of a 30 minute half (like they were in the first half of this game). Bowes got 114 yards, his first 100 yard game since the season started (and the difficulty level got cranked up). He would have had a lot less, but he was nigh untackleable and kept squeezing through holes that would have devoured lesser men. By the third quarter, it was regularly taking 3-4 guys to bring him down.
Hell, even I ran for over 50 yards, and I'm the quarterback.
Well, we're 4-0 after being 0-4 in the preseason. I think I'm adjusting to the new difficulty level and while I haven't gotten down the next field goal kicking routine yet (Stewart's missed 3 in 4 games, a new career low), we've been able to get close enough most of the time that it hasn't much mattered (he made 5 of 6 field goals in this game). Next up, Green Bay and that bastard Sylvester.
mediocre artist internet makeover!
i woke up this morning with an entire day free of work ahead of me for the first time since christmas break ended, so of course i had to immediately start working on music things. my plan this year is to get both that bloody EP and the new LP done by christmas, and so far i'm off to a good start. today was consumed mostly by reworking my entire sound setup (moving things around, playing with the mixer, soundchecking, screaming and throwing things, repeating that cycle ad nauseum) until i found something at least approaching sound-quality coolness. which i did, luckily. i recorded a bit (as evidenced in my previous post) but mostly i just figured out what it is i want to record for the EP (maybe next weeknd?) and then sat around eating PB & J, listening to otis redding, and flipping mixer dials.
the evening was entirely consumed with what began as a minor shuffling of the content on my music webpage. from these humble beginnings, i apparently ended up reloading entirely new songs on reverbnation and myspace, and pretty much redoing everything except for the absolute bare bones on my website. i'd go into more detail but i need to stop working and watch TV or sleep or both before i lose pretty much all brain functionality for an extended period of time.
i've finished mixing the susan's show and should be uploading it within a few days. i've had to cancel gig plans because i have no way of getting anywhere farther away than a mile anymore, and as a result i'm hoping to maybe to an online show or an in-house "live" recording at some point. on the "good" side, this means i don't have to front the cash for a PA anytime soon. and i can stay home and work on these 2 records instead of gigging. i guess that counts for something.
alright, more later. i'm out.
the evening was entirely consumed with what began as a minor shuffling of the content on my music webpage. from these humble beginnings, i apparently ended up reloading entirely new songs on reverbnation and myspace, and pretty much redoing everything except for the absolute bare bones on my website. i'd go into more detail but i need to stop working and watch TV or sleep or both before i lose pretty much all brain functionality for an extended period of time.
i've finished mixing the susan's show and should be uploading it within a few days. i've had to cancel gig plans because i have no way of getting anywhere farther away than a mile anymore, and as a result i'm hoping to maybe to an online show or an in-house "live" recording at some point. on the "good" side, this means i don't have to front the cash for a PA anytime soon. and i can stay home and work on these 2 records instead of gigging. i guess that counts for something.
alright, more later. i'm out.
new demo track!
i'm working on an instrumental track as the first song on the new EP. i sat down this afternoon for about 20 minutes to test my new recording setup and also to see if i could throw anything together, and this is what i have so far. nothing super-special, but it's as good a start as any. if you're so inclined, let me know what you think.
linkity-link (right-click if you want to save).
linkity-link (right-click if you want to save).
Jan 16, 2008
blasted fire water!
apparently when i drink a lot, i become violently obsessed with the floor. and turn into a demon.
Jan 12, 2008
what are those four guys on horses doing out in the parking lot?
http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/01/riaa-believes-m.html
this is either pretty serious legal shit, or else just further evidence of my previous supposition that the RIAA is spending themselves into obscurity trying desperately to prop up a business model that became outmoded the second AOL started giving 14.4 modem access to the internet.
i'm hoping it's the latter. elsewise:
yeah. take that.
this is either pretty serious legal shit, or else just further evidence of my previous supposition that the RIAA is spending themselves into obscurity trying desperately to prop up a business model that became outmoded the second AOL started giving 14.4 modem access to the internet.
i'm hoping it's the latter. elsewise:
yeah. take that.
"a shocker", or "justin time"
no, not "the" shocker. your insinuation disgusts me.
well, it's been a few weeks since i've made a nerd of myself on the internet, so here come some madden screenshots.
after going a dismal 0-4 in the preseason (there are normal 0-4s and then there are dismal 0-4s), the niners are 2-0 two weeks into the regular season. there's definitely a big difference in the new difficulty level, but i think "we're" adjusting.
we beat the chargers 21-16 in the first week, after taking a very early 21-7 lead. oddly, they outscored us 9-0 in the second half; i really think this is the first game in six years that we won a game without scoring in the second half. anyway, the defense did a great job. it was 21-13 until the very end, when the chargers were held to a field goal with two minutes left and then never got the ball back like they had planned.
the second game was a little more ridiculous. ridiculous in the sense that:
a) we played the lions and almost lost
b) the lions got over 500 yards passing and still lost
the final was 34-31 in overtime, but it was 17-0 lions at the end of the first half and we'd managed something awesome like two first downs. fortunately, we scored on the first possession of the second half to make it 17-3, but then the lions drove straight down the field again (at this point they already had over 400 total yards, five minutes into the third quarter). fortunately, they threw into the end zone on third and goal and this happened:
sparks set a new NFL record by running an interception back 105 yards, making the score 17-10. by the time our torrent to comeback scoring had ceased, we were ahead 24-17. that lasted literally two plays before the lions scored on a 65 yard pass play with five minutes left. we scored again next to make it 31-24, but they scored again with nine seconds left on the clock to make it 31-31.
overtime was a bit anticlimactic in the sense that we got the ball first, drove down the field and kicked a 30 yard field goal to win. interestingly, bowes was knocked out of the game in the third quarter and was replaced by luke staley, who in basically two possessions and then overtime gained 91 yards on the ground and a touchdown. he's usually a piece of shit, so i was surprised.
okay, that's enough nerdiness. back to real life (aka mixing the susan's show all day).
well, it's been a few weeks since i've made a nerd of myself on the internet, so here come some madden screenshots.
after going a dismal 0-4 in the preseason (there are normal 0-4s and then there are dismal 0-4s), the niners are 2-0 two weeks into the regular season. there's definitely a big difference in the new difficulty level, but i think "we're" adjusting.
we beat the chargers 21-16 in the first week, after taking a very early 21-7 lead. oddly, they outscored us 9-0 in the second half; i really think this is the first game in six years that we won a game without scoring in the second half. anyway, the defense did a great job. it was 21-13 until the very end, when the chargers were held to a field goal with two minutes left and then never got the ball back like they had planned.
the second game was a little more ridiculous. ridiculous in the sense that:
a) we played the lions and almost lost
b) the lions got over 500 yards passing and still lost
the final was 34-31 in overtime, but it was 17-0 lions at the end of the first half and we'd managed something awesome like two first downs. fortunately, we scored on the first possession of the second half to make it 17-3, but then the lions drove straight down the field again (at this point they already had over 400 total yards, five minutes into the third quarter). fortunately, they threw into the end zone on third and goal and this happened:
sparks set a new NFL record by running an interception back 105 yards, making the score 17-10. by the time our torrent to comeback scoring had ceased, we were ahead 24-17. that lasted literally two plays before the lions scored on a 65 yard pass play with five minutes left. we scored again next to make it 31-24, but they scored again with nine seconds left on the clock to make it 31-31.
overtime was a bit anticlimactic in the sense that we got the ball first, drove down the field and kicked a 30 yard field goal to win. interestingly, bowes was knocked out of the game in the third quarter and was replaced by luke staley, who in basically two possessions and then overtime gained 91 yards on the ground and a touchdown. he's usually a piece of shit, so i was surprised.
okay, that's enough nerdiness. back to real life (aka mixing the susan's show all day).
Jan 11, 2008
gig practice pics
alas, due to lack of foresight (and batteries) on my part, i don't have any pictures of the susan's gig itself, but here are a few from the early afternoon rehearsal beforehand. as a bonus, you can't see my face in them at all...
Jan 10, 2008
too bad you can't make out with writing
somewhere along the line, my brain seems to have made a dramatic decision without informing me. this happens a lot; like with puberty, for instance. but we won't go into detail there.
anyway, i was sitting today reading a bit and waiting for my class to finish up with their writing (which is apparently when i think these really deep thoughts that always spawn blog entries that nobody cares about but me) when i started sort of thinking (as i often do) about my (apparently someday-to-exist) career and what i would like to do for work. obviously, i've been thinking about this more and more the older i get and the more i generally suck at doing anything consistently enough to make it worth my while. well, generally when i start thinking about this, i think of a lot of different things i could do with myself and then ponder the imponderables about each for awhile. lately, however, and specifically today, i found myself just thinking about the different types of writing i could do and where and how i could do them - nothing else really sprung to mind (interesting. firefox spellcheck accepts "sprang" and "sprung". but not "firefox".). anyway, it was then i realized that somewhere, on some level of my brain, i had decided just by default that i wanted to be a writer of some sort. this is pretty cool, i guess. just a little shocking. but the more i thought about it, the more it made sense. based mostly on two things:
1) i've finally reached the point where writing is just writing.
after years of high-minded, well-intentioned speeches about this to my students, it's finally true for me. there's no longer a vast divide in my mind between "fiction", "non-fiction", "poetry", "songwriting", "essay-writing" and whatever else. i mean, obviously each of these genres have some of their own expectations that have to be met, but otherwise...it's not really being obsessive about how you write that determines the end result, but what that end result is trying to achieve. for example, if i'm writing a seminar paper for a class, i'm now using bits and pieces of skills i've gathered from each of those types of writing to write that essay instead of trying to split my writing into various paradigms that don't cross over and meet in any way. it's a much more comfortable style of writing, better and more interesting (i think) and i'm finally not a huge hypocrite when i'm teaching. and that's always good.
2) a good career is like a relationship (the squeezy, gooey kind, not the high-five, butt-patting kind).
i should start out by saying that i think there's a sort of inbred bastard child idea of the american dream that says that there's basically a career out there for everyone. i mean, i even remember taking tests all the way up through high school that supposedly told me what i was meant to do with my life. i'm not sure i necessarily agree with this idea and more than i agree with the everyone-has-a-soulmate idea, but, like that idea, this one is so thoroughly grounded in our culture that at least in some respects, i'm willing to roll with it.
so. whether there is or isn't a job that you're destined to do, the odds are very much in your favor that there will be one thing that you'll do for 30 or 40 years to keep yourself from starving to death. that said, most of us fancy-ass white people have a say (at least to a point) in what that thing is. else we wouldn't all be going to college, picking majors, etc. well, the problem is what happens when you finally get to this job and it's not all cake and ice cream (or if you're a troll, onions and tubers)? i don't know. that's what i'm trying to deal with. i may not buy the idea that everybody has a soul-job (that sounds a little gross), but obviously there are some things that some people enjoy doing better than other things. i like teaching better than retching. writing better than wringing. walking better than christopher walkening. etc. so if we're going to live inside the idea that you sort-of get to choose your profession, what happens when you suddenly get to 26 and realize that there is no "perfect" profession for you? my answer is thus: pretend like your career is a relationship. actually, don't pretend. because it is.
some days you're going to wake up and your job is going to have forgotten to clean the hair out of the shower drain, it's going to have left toothpaste smears all over the sink liner (or, in rare and strange instances, the toilet bowl), and on some days it's going to send you flowers and give you free baked goods. awesome. that's the way the rest of life is, why shouldn't your job be the same way? now, i'm not trying to be a martyr complex apologist. if your job is, per se, beating a raping you every morning, then you should probably call the police and get the fuck out of there. but. expecting your career to be the be-all and end-all to your fulfillment and not being able to accept occasionally hating what you're doing is probably a little disingenuous. i mean, you're not going to dump someone because they forgot to do the towels with their laundry once, are you? i mean, maybe you are, but if you are then you're probably a jackass and don't deserve a cool job anyway. i'm not sure if this metaphor worked, but it seemed great when i thought of it. but then so did that rewarmed pizza from two days ago when i first ate it. and now i feel like it's reenacting Burning Man inside my stomach.
because all these words with no pictures make-a me sad, have a picture.
anyway, i was sitting today reading a bit and waiting for my class to finish up with their writing (which is apparently when i think these really deep thoughts that always spawn blog entries that nobody cares about but me) when i started sort of thinking (as i often do) about my (apparently someday-to-exist) career and what i would like to do for work. obviously, i've been thinking about this more and more the older i get and the more i generally suck at doing anything consistently enough to make it worth my while. well, generally when i start thinking about this, i think of a lot of different things i could do with myself and then ponder the imponderables about each for awhile. lately, however, and specifically today, i found myself just thinking about the different types of writing i could do and where and how i could do them - nothing else really sprung to mind (interesting. firefox spellcheck accepts "sprang" and "sprung". but not "firefox".). anyway, it was then i realized that somewhere, on some level of my brain, i had decided just by default that i wanted to be a writer of some sort. this is pretty cool, i guess. just a little shocking. but the more i thought about it, the more it made sense. based mostly on two things:
1) i've finally reached the point where writing is just writing.
after years of high-minded, well-intentioned speeches about this to my students, it's finally true for me. there's no longer a vast divide in my mind between "fiction", "non-fiction", "poetry", "songwriting", "essay-writing" and whatever else. i mean, obviously each of these genres have some of their own expectations that have to be met, but otherwise...it's not really being obsessive about how you write that determines the end result, but what that end result is trying to achieve. for example, if i'm writing a seminar paper for a class, i'm now using bits and pieces of skills i've gathered from each of those types of writing to write that essay instead of trying to split my writing into various paradigms that don't cross over and meet in any way. it's a much more comfortable style of writing, better and more interesting (i think) and i'm finally not a huge hypocrite when i'm teaching. and that's always good.
2) a good career is like a relationship (the squeezy, gooey kind, not the high-five, butt-patting kind).
i should start out by saying that i think there's a sort of inbred bastard child idea of the american dream that says that there's basically a career out there for everyone. i mean, i even remember taking tests all the way up through high school that supposedly told me what i was meant to do with my life. i'm not sure i necessarily agree with this idea and more than i agree with the everyone-has-a-soulmate idea, but, like that idea, this one is so thoroughly grounded in our culture that at least in some respects, i'm willing to roll with it.
so. whether there is or isn't a job that you're destined to do, the odds are very much in your favor that there will be one thing that you'll do for 30 or 40 years to keep yourself from starving to death. that said, most of us fancy-ass white people have a say (at least to a point) in what that thing is. else we wouldn't all be going to college, picking majors, etc. well, the problem is what happens when you finally get to this job and it's not all cake and ice cream (or if you're a troll, onions and tubers)? i don't know. that's what i'm trying to deal with. i may not buy the idea that everybody has a soul-job (that sounds a little gross), but obviously there are some things that some people enjoy doing better than other things. i like teaching better than retching. writing better than wringing. walking better than christopher walkening. etc. so if we're going to live inside the idea that you sort-of get to choose your profession, what happens when you suddenly get to 26 and realize that there is no "perfect" profession for you? my answer is thus: pretend like your career is a relationship. actually, don't pretend. because it is.
some days you're going to wake up and your job is going to have forgotten to clean the hair out of the shower drain, it's going to have left toothpaste smears all over the sink liner (or, in rare and strange instances, the toilet bowl), and on some days it's going to send you flowers and give you free baked goods. awesome. that's the way the rest of life is, why shouldn't your job be the same way? now, i'm not trying to be a martyr complex apologist. if your job is, per se, beating a raping you every morning, then you should probably call the police and get the fuck out of there. but. expecting your career to be the be-all and end-all to your fulfillment and not being able to accept occasionally hating what you're doing is probably a little disingenuous. i mean, you're not going to dump someone because they forgot to do the towels with their laundry once, are you? i mean, maybe you are, but if you are then you're probably a jackass and don't deserve a cool job anyway. i'm not sure if this metaphor worked, but it seemed great when i thought of it. but then so did that rewarmed pizza from two days ago when i first ate it. and now i feel like it's reenacting Burning Man inside my stomach.
because all these words with no pictures make-a me sad, have a picture.
a little bit o' the baldwin fer ye
so my students are reading "Stranger in the Village" as a run-up to the first paper assignment, and while they were reading and i was skimming today, i came across probably my favorite section of the essay ('Notes of a Native Son', page 157):
"I do not think [...] that it is too much to suggest that the American vision of the world - which allows so little reality, generally speaking, for any of the darker forces in human life, which tends until today to paint moral issues in glaring black and white - owes a great deal to the battle waged by Americans to maintain between themselves and black men a human separation which could not be bridged. It is only now beginning to be borne in on us - very faintly, it must be admitted, very slowly, and very much against our will - that this vision of the world is dangerously inaccurate, and perfectly useless. For it protects our moral high-mindedness at the terrible expense of weakening our grasp on reality. People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction, and anyone who insists on remaining in a state of innocence long after that innocence is dead turns himself into a monster."
i pretty love this entire essay to death, but that's my current high point; picking a best tidbit is like picking a favorite track on the Stones' "Exile" or the Cardinals' "Cold Roses". but you get the idea.
anyway, i was thinking about this quote a bit in the oh-so-pregnant silence of my in-class writing period, and then the issue was sort of forced on me later by a student who inquired after class about my purpose for starting off class with what is essentially a monologue about racial injustice and privilege in america. his insinuation was that i was simply including such a piece as a display of tokenism, like "hey, i'm multicultural...i'm a white dude that teaches baldwin!" this is probably a reasonable assumption for him to make right off the bat, and i did in fact have to hesitate for a moment before telling him that wasn't my reason for using the piece, so i could make sure it really wasn't the reason before i opened my mouth. but i don't think it is.
i don't use pieces like baldwin's "Stranger" in class because i'm trying to make a shallow display of multiculturalism - i'm an upper-middle-class white guy who's lived his entire life in america and (by global standards, at least) pretty much had everything handed to me on a silver platter. i have very little say from personal experience on multiculturalism. i don't even use pieces like this in my class because it might be encouraged by our curriculum; i simply use them because i think they inspire good dialogue. they inspire critical thinking, and make people who aren't necessarily used to contemplating why they have what they have and why they are where they are contemplate exactly those things. in the pursuit of inspiring such dialogue, though, i've occasionally encountered this idea in the past: that i teach baldwin to make it look like i care about non-white issues, that i have a black or indian friend simply because now i can go out and brag about how accepting and diverse i am. and that's simply not the truth.
i think that members of other cultures and races, etc. have a lot to say that i/we (i suppose i'm defining myself as a card-carrying member of the rich american white guy club with that "we") can easily choose not to hear if that's what we want. i think about how i actually conceptualize my relationships with other people, and i find that, for the most part, people who aren't a part of "we" are the people that i interact with with more of an expectation of learning, criticizing, expanding, etc. largely, my friendships and interactions with other mid-20s, rich (again, by world standards), male americans are (in my mind) based on comfort. we hang out, we get dinner, we see movies, whatever, and on some level they reinforce to me that the way i am is okay, that what i think matters, and that i can continue acting the way i act because they accept me. again, this isn't meant to reflect on any of these people or their personalities at all; i'm merely saying that this is generally how i perceive of my relationships with them.
on the other hand, most of my relationships that i perceive of as being critical, more challenging to engage in, or outright more constructive (in the sense that i learn new things instead of reinforcing old things) are relationships that i have with:
a) women
b) people of different races
c) people of different ages
d) combinations of these three things
essentially, i guess i'm saying that people who are less like me are more challenging to interact with, which i suppose is like "Big Fucking Deal", right? yeah, but i think in terms of my response to said student today, i was just trying to get the point across that straight-up learning from/interacting with writers like James Baldwin or one of my 60 year old female friends is really constructive on its own and doesn't need the sort of assumptions of tokenism that people seem inspired to make from time to time.
another rant forthcoming. buckle the seatbelts.
"I do not think [...] that it is too much to suggest that the American vision of the world - which allows so little reality, generally speaking, for any of the darker forces in human life, which tends until today to paint moral issues in glaring black and white - owes a great deal to the battle waged by Americans to maintain between themselves and black men a human separation which could not be bridged. It is only now beginning to be borne in on us - very faintly, it must be admitted, very slowly, and very much against our will - that this vision of the world is dangerously inaccurate, and perfectly useless. For it protects our moral high-mindedness at the terrible expense of weakening our grasp on reality. People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction, and anyone who insists on remaining in a state of innocence long after that innocence is dead turns himself into a monster."
i pretty love this entire essay to death, but that's my current high point; picking a best tidbit is like picking a favorite track on the Stones' "Exile" or the Cardinals' "Cold Roses". but you get the idea.
anyway, i was thinking about this quote a bit in the oh-so-pregnant silence of my in-class writing period, and then the issue was sort of forced on me later by a student who inquired after class about my purpose for starting off class with what is essentially a monologue about racial injustice and privilege in america. his insinuation was that i was simply including such a piece as a display of tokenism, like "hey, i'm multicultural...i'm a white dude that teaches baldwin!" this is probably a reasonable assumption for him to make right off the bat, and i did in fact have to hesitate for a moment before telling him that wasn't my reason for using the piece, so i could make sure it really wasn't the reason before i opened my mouth. but i don't think it is.
i don't use pieces like baldwin's "Stranger" in class because i'm trying to make a shallow display of multiculturalism - i'm an upper-middle-class white guy who's lived his entire life in america and (by global standards, at least) pretty much had everything handed to me on a silver platter. i have very little say from personal experience on multiculturalism. i don't even use pieces like this in my class because it might be encouraged by our curriculum; i simply use them because i think they inspire good dialogue. they inspire critical thinking, and make people who aren't necessarily used to contemplating why they have what they have and why they are where they are contemplate exactly those things. in the pursuit of inspiring such dialogue, though, i've occasionally encountered this idea in the past: that i teach baldwin to make it look like i care about non-white issues, that i have a black or indian friend simply because now i can go out and brag about how accepting and diverse i am. and that's simply not the truth.
i think that members of other cultures and races, etc. have a lot to say that i/we (i suppose i'm defining myself as a card-carrying member of the rich american white guy club with that "we") can easily choose not to hear if that's what we want. i think about how i actually conceptualize my relationships with other people, and i find that, for the most part, people who aren't a part of "we" are the people that i interact with with more of an expectation of learning, criticizing, expanding, etc. largely, my friendships and interactions with other mid-20s, rich (again, by world standards), male americans are (in my mind) based on comfort. we hang out, we get dinner, we see movies, whatever, and on some level they reinforce to me that the way i am is okay, that what i think matters, and that i can continue acting the way i act because they accept me. again, this isn't meant to reflect on any of these people or their personalities at all; i'm merely saying that this is generally how i perceive of my relationships with them.
on the other hand, most of my relationships that i perceive of as being critical, more challenging to engage in, or outright more constructive (in the sense that i learn new things instead of reinforcing old things) are relationships that i have with:
a) women
b) people of different races
c) people of different ages
d) combinations of these three things
essentially, i guess i'm saying that people who are less like me are more challenging to interact with, which i suppose is like "Big Fucking Deal", right? yeah, but i think in terms of my response to said student today, i was just trying to get the point across that straight-up learning from/interacting with writers like James Baldwin or one of my 60 year old female friends is really constructive on its own and doesn't need the sort of assumptions of tokenism that people seem inspired to make from time to time.
another rant forthcoming. buckle the seatbelts.
Jan 9, 2008
did you ever wonder...
...what it would look like if you got your senior high school picture taken with a contrived background not of a bunch of fake trees or a fancy sports car that you don't actually own, but instead of a bunch of drunk people? i sort of think it would look like this.
a few more blackmail pictures from NYE 2007:
a few more blackmail pictures from NYE 2007:
mellow mood
do any of you trey fans out there know if "mellow mood" is a trey original or a cover? i'm guessing cover, but you never know with our old boy.
i think something may have happened electronically in my apartment complex over break because i was wailing on the epi dot last night and the hum was almost completely gone. this sort of confirms my hypothesis that the problem is/was caused by either: 1) someone else's electronic stuff on the floor above or below me 2) shitty wiring in the complex exacerbated by someone else's electronic stuff on the floor above or below me. maybe someone moved out, or hasn't come back yet, or whatever. but whatever the reason, for now at least, my amp sounds like a space dragon. it's great. the reverb is killer, and could probably substitute for THC, if i was still into that sort of thing.
anyway, i don't want to talk about music too much because the time i've had to work on new recordings and mix the old ones since i got back is so scant it depresses me to think about it. so far classes are looking good, though teaching 4 hours a day instead of 2 1/2 is a little difficult (and the same thing three times in 4 hours, no less). i do like the feeling that maybe, just maybe, my classes are long enough to actually accomplish something this semester, though.
today was the last really big day (or so i hope) for plowing through all the beginning-of-the-semester organization and paper work filling-out. with that behind me, i'm ready to queue up about 10 cardinals shows in winamp, hit shuffle, and rip into figuring out this course calendar.
actually, as much as i was looking forward to diving into the new cardinals' material when i got back from ohio, i've been listening to phish a lot today. i had 7/26/98 on earlier, an AUD/SBD matrix, and it was really, really solid, both sound quality wise and show quality wise. the first set ends with a particularly good "Good Times" and the second one starts with a spot-on cover of "La Grange". the second disc seems to be missing the last encore, which was "Bittersweet Motel"...that sort of pisses me off because i love the hell out of that song. fortunately, i just recently got the Bittersweet Motel documentary, so i guess that's a decent...umm...what's that thing that makes you feel better? consolation. that.
now i'm listening to 12/29/98, also a SBD. the first set was great...velvet underground's "Rock and Roll", "Funky Bitch", "PYITE", and "Horn"...the second set is a lot slower and funkier, which is okay, but i'm sort of sleepy as it is, so i sort of just wish that Trey would shred the shit out of something.
going to try to finally get the car in to get worked on tomorrow. it's getting close enough to my cardinals mini-tour that i can't really put it off anymore. i'm still thinking, though, even if i do get it fixed, that i'll rent a car to go out to oregon and seattle. partially because i might be going with a friend of mine, and i would sort of hate for the rotors on my car to explode again and have to die knowing that my laziness had in fact killed more people than just myself.
i'm beat and i don't know why. i've been sleeping from 11pm to 7am pretty regularly and i can't seem to muster up the energy to even waste and entire night playing starcraft, let alone doing anything constructive or social past like seven. this makes me uncomfortable. maybe i've reached the point where i need so much diet coke just to be functional that i'm dysfunctional by default.
speaking of PC games, and for my three dorky-madden-screenshot friends, i haven't been posting screenshots of the new preseason mostly because we're getting absolutely pwn4d. i was a little fed up with 4 seasons of near-total dominance and outlandish performance by our team, so this year i've resolved to set the difficulty level on the game up a notch. the result of this so far is an 0-4 preseason and four really shitty games. we'll have to see if things get better in the regular season, or else we might be looking at a miami dolphins-esque season this time around.
buckeyes. fuck. that is all.
i've changed the EP tracklist around again (big surprise, i know) based on some of the songs we played over christmas that i think should be on it in their current forms. also, i'm taking caroline off, because, really, how many officially recorded versions of a nine-minute delta-blues murder ballad does one need? i think the answer is "one".
i kind of miss being home, but at the same time there are a lot of excellent people around here that i generally just never talk to because i'm a reclusive loser. trying to get better at that. also trying to get better at not being too lazy to cook decent meals for myself. it's all about quality of life. dude.
on that note, i'm off to pay some dude a ridiculous amount of money to make sushi for me. peace out.
i think something may have happened electronically in my apartment complex over break because i was wailing on the epi dot last night and the hum was almost completely gone. this sort of confirms my hypothesis that the problem is/was caused by either: 1) someone else's electronic stuff on the floor above or below me 2) shitty wiring in the complex exacerbated by someone else's electronic stuff on the floor above or below me. maybe someone moved out, or hasn't come back yet, or whatever. but whatever the reason, for now at least, my amp sounds like a space dragon. it's great. the reverb is killer, and could probably substitute for THC, if i was still into that sort of thing.
anyway, i don't want to talk about music too much because the time i've had to work on new recordings and mix the old ones since i got back is so scant it depresses me to think about it. so far classes are looking good, though teaching 4 hours a day instead of 2 1/2 is a little difficult (and the same thing three times in 4 hours, no less). i do like the feeling that maybe, just maybe, my classes are long enough to actually accomplish something this semester, though.
today was the last really big day (or so i hope) for plowing through all the beginning-of-the-semester organization and paper work filling-out. with that behind me, i'm ready to queue up about 10 cardinals shows in winamp, hit shuffle, and rip into figuring out this course calendar.
actually, as much as i was looking forward to diving into the new cardinals' material when i got back from ohio, i've been listening to phish a lot today. i had 7/26/98 on earlier, an AUD/SBD matrix, and it was really, really solid, both sound quality wise and show quality wise. the first set ends with a particularly good "Good Times" and the second one starts with a spot-on cover of "La Grange". the second disc seems to be missing the last encore, which was "Bittersweet Motel"...that sort of pisses me off because i love the hell out of that song. fortunately, i just recently got the Bittersweet Motel documentary, so i guess that's a decent...umm...what's that thing that makes you feel better? consolation. that.
now i'm listening to 12/29/98, also a SBD. the first set was great...velvet underground's "Rock and Roll", "Funky Bitch", "PYITE", and "Horn"...the second set is a lot slower and funkier, which is okay, but i'm sort of sleepy as it is, so i sort of just wish that Trey would shred the shit out of something.
going to try to finally get the car in to get worked on tomorrow. it's getting close enough to my cardinals mini-tour that i can't really put it off anymore. i'm still thinking, though, even if i do get it fixed, that i'll rent a car to go out to oregon and seattle. partially because i might be going with a friend of mine, and i would sort of hate for the rotors on my car to explode again and have to die knowing that my laziness had in fact killed more people than just myself.
i'm beat and i don't know why. i've been sleeping from 11pm to 7am pretty regularly and i can't seem to muster up the energy to even waste and entire night playing starcraft, let alone doing anything constructive or social past like seven. this makes me uncomfortable. maybe i've reached the point where i need so much diet coke just to be functional that i'm dysfunctional by default.
speaking of PC games, and for my three dorky-madden-screenshot friends, i haven't been posting screenshots of the new preseason mostly because we're getting absolutely pwn4d. i was a little fed up with 4 seasons of near-total dominance and outlandish performance by our team, so this year i've resolved to set the difficulty level on the game up a notch. the result of this so far is an 0-4 preseason and four really shitty games. we'll have to see if things get better in the regular season, or else we might be looking at a miami dolphins-esque season this time around.
buckeyes. fuck. that is all.
i've changed the EP tracklist around again (big surprise, i know) based on some of the songs we played over christmas that i think should be on it in their current forms. also, i'm taking caroline off, because, really, how many officially recorded versions of a nine-minute delta-blues murder ballad does one need? i think the answer is "one".
i kind of miss being home, but at the same time there are a lot of excellent people around here that i generally just never talk to because i'm a reclusive loser. trying to get better at that. also trying to get better at not being too lazy to cook decent meals for myself. it's all about quality of life. dude.
on that note, i'm off to pay some dude a ridiculous amount of money to make sushi for me. peace out.
Jan 2, 2008
apnea? play a didgeridoo!
that was a comedy gem bestowed on me by google ads this morning. is it "jem" or "gem"? i should know these things, but instead i know other things. like i think i'm dying of african sleeping sickness. today is day five of the bunting sleep-from-five-to-seven-in-the-morning-not-on-purpose diet. not as marketable as the south beach diet, i'll admit. but it has its perks. like insanity, for one.
NYE was phenomenal. it wasn't superior to last year (a feat our gang has been claiming as impossible for a whole year now anyway), but it was just as good in different ways. the everest summit of inebriation of 12/31/06 was still far out of reach when we stopped drinking around 2am, and then the fun really started. i'm actually about to bounce for a morning hike, but later i'll get into details.
woke up yesterday morning on the uncomfortable couch (if you think the comfortable couch is uncomfortable, look out) and thus began january 1st, which for at least five years has been my favorite day of the year, for reasons i'll also explain in my forthcoming new years adventure post. now, in the fading of the party-and-hangover-football afterglow, i'm trying to pack my shit up and get ready to fly back to pullman. today will likely be my last day in kent for at least five months, which is an epically depressing prospect.
fortunately, apparently all i need to do is buy a didgeridoo and play it and all my problems will turn into butterflies and fly up my nose into my brain, where they'll lay eggs and i'll eventually die of a huge, butterfly-induced stroke.
okay, that was sort of a paraphrase from the apnea website.
NYE was phenomenal. it wasn't superior to last year (a feat our gang has been claiming as impossible for a whole year now anyway), but it was just as good in different ways. the everest summit of inebriation of 12/31/06 was still far out of reach when we stopped drinking around 2am, and then the fun really started. i'm actually about to bounce for a morning hike, but later i'll get into details.
woke up yesterday morning on the uncomfortable couch (if you think the comfortable couch is uncomfortable, look out) and thus began january 1st, which for at least five years has been my favorite day of the year, for reasons i'll also explain in my forthcoming new years adventure post. now, in the fading of the party-and-hangover-football afterglow, i'm trying to pack my shit up and get ready to fly back to pullman. today will likely be my last day in kent for at least five months, which is an epically depressing prospect.
fortunately, apparently all i need to do is buy a didgeridoo and play it and all my problems will turn into butterflies and fly up my nose into my brain, where they'll lay eggs and i'll eventually die of a huge, butterfly-induced stroke.
okay, that was sort of a paraphrase from the apnea website.
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