man, i wish girls weren't pretty

wouldn't that make life more simple? simpler? whatever?

then you could just bury yourself in work and shit and never have a thought towards meaning something to someone beyond yourself. i mean, i guess that might still be hard, but it would be a little easier.

as it is, instead, i constantly wonder what it would be like to be as important to someone else as certain other people have been to me at certain times. really just fucking amazing to the point that i can look at my life and say the entire thing would be unrecognizable as it is were it not for that person there and this person there.

now, granted, i'm not talking specifically about ALL romantic relationships, or even ALL people who are girls. however, that's sort the arena in which i feel that i've got the most work to do in and simultaneously has the possibility of being the most rewarding/allowing me to be most significant to somebody else...which is a cool idea.

however, what i am good at is not being that guy. i'm good at being the guy that dispenses helpful advice and then never feels like that connection needs to be anything more than one way. i'm good at taking punches for other people and laughing it off. and that job would be easier...

...if girls weren't pretty. hence the title.

i was going to bed.

i wish i had a donut. and other stuff, but to enumerate those things would only make this more unnecessarily maudlin than it already is. man, i'm going to feel stupid about this when i'm sober.

that doesn't mean it's not true, thought.

but seriously, girls (i have a few in mind, but let's leave this as generic as possible on a public forum): start sucking more. being less awesome. that would make life easier.

ciao. zzzzzz...zzzzzzurrito....zzzz....