i can't stop blogging (m.bored)

i'm apparently very talkative today. it's probably best that there's nobody in real life to talk to. it's more fun talking to the internet anyway. okay, well really it's not. but that's the weird thing about text-talking instead of talk-talking. you wouldn't have known i was lying had i not told you, whereas in real life i would have done that thing that i do when i try to lie that makes it impossible for me to lie to anyone i actually care about. and you would have known, because chances are if you're reading this i care about you in some capacity.

i am wearing dark blue/white/light blue plaid pants right now. this seems suddenly fucking hilarious.

talking on the internet maybe requires that you assume the person you're talking to is telling the truth or that they're lying. because there isn't any real evidence or cues to base things on. maybe whether you assume everything is lies or everything is the truth says something about your personality. maybe so do the pants you're wearing.

i finally ground out a half-decent version of my proposal for CCCC today after 18 million years of staring at the screen/playing with my webcam/wishing i had change for the snack machine. it's cool. it will be a cool project, regardless of what happens with C's. now i just have to get a class for next fall. like actually intentionally try to get one instead of doing something easier. oh well. if i was in the market for easy i wouldn't have moved from home, i wouldn't be trying to get my Ph.D and i'd be doing something in computers and would have convinced my first girlfriend to marry me and now we would fucking hate each other.

that was not meant to imply that my first girlfriend was easy. she was not.

i'm gonna figure out what classes i'm taking in the fall tomorrow, and i'll also figure out for sure if i'm getting this new apartment. it'd be nice to get some sleep before all that happens. it'd also be nice to have a working aircraft carrier made of gold with pure silver fighter jets on it.

i've got an extreme case of the boreds. i've become such a workaholic (or at least a talkaholic and thinkaholic and writaholic and a procrastinataholic) that now that school's out i don't know what to do with myself. i firmly believe that at least part of the reason i took so damn long to write that proposal tonight is because i knew i had nothing else to do when it was done. and that's creepy. it's hard for me to not do anything. so the prospect of not having anything to do until about the 30th is terrifying. i'm going to try this new "song a day" writing thing, and i've signed up for a few writing groups, and i've got a massive stack of shit to read for the fall, as well as a pile of movies and PC games i'm behind on...but that's all stuff that i'm doing not necessarily because i want to do it (i don't NOT want to do it either) but just because i need something to fill the time and that seems like good stuff to do it with. at one point it seemed like i had a few visits/trips in the wings with a few of my friends, but i haven't really heard back from any of them about those...so i'm thinking they're off. i suppose i could drive out to seattle for a few days myself or something. plenty of time to think. plenty of time to blog embarrassing webcam photos and pick out new couches and clean up the mess i've made here in the last three years. i meant that in terms of actual dirt, but i guess you could take it other ways too. i'm too tired/bored for metaphors myself.

this is why one should not listen to radiohead after midnight. i'm like the mogwai of depression.

i told you i sucked at metaphors.