so, i didn't blog a whole lot during my break, except to post pictures, in spite of my claim that the only thing stopping me from a blog-rampage was a slow desktop computer...then i got fender v2 and...still no bloggy.
anyway, you didn't miss a whole lot. well, at least not at first. the first few days was this (actually fairly awesome and fun) melange of me not sleeping at all, spending the mornings, afternoons, and early evenings working on papers and grading (which i barely remember now with any clarity) and then spending the nights playing PS2 with my brother instead of sleeping...that was really fun, but unfortunately it caught up with me on christmas eve in the form of a nasty infection/rhinovirus/or something worse (that i originally thought was just too much vodka)...this put me out of commission for christmas and no less than seven days afterwards, causing the cancellation of the susan's gig and a pretty lackluster NYE (though the bowes/dana house party was awesome...what i remember of it).
i'm always pretty possessive of my time over christmas break, as there's always too much to do, too many people to see, and never enough time to completely succeed at doing or seeing any of these things/people. on one hand i'm happy to come home, but on the other it always serves to remind me how little time i actually get to spend with my family and friends over the course of any given year. so it's always bittersweet. especially at the moment as i'm waiting to leave.
there's always this weird sort of suspension of belief inherent in christmas break for me. suspension of belief that my responsibilities exist, that i have to worry about bills, that i have to be incredibly stingy with the little money i have, that i have to worry every time i need to drive that my car might fall apart, that i need to address all those things one needs to address when one is adult, alone, and living by oneself in an apartment - professionally, existentially, etc.
that might be the first time i've used a dash in a blog post, which is weird because i use them all the time in papers and such.
anyway, it's really nice to get away from things for a few weeks and, i daresay, is necessary because usually by the time the middle of december rolls around, i'm completely crushed under the weight of schoolwork. if you've been reading at all for the last month or so, you know this was particularly true this year. i need to take that time to sort of disappear, to live in fantasyland, to realize it's necessary while at the same time moderately despising myself for being able to blindly set aside "real life". it's weird. it's complicated. i'm sure i make it even more complicated than necessary.
but then january rolls around and cuts the unicorn's head off. there's the debauchery of NYE - again, appreciated and awesome and fun - and then it's necessarily followed by the hangover of realization that life is back soon, and with it, all the ills that flesh is heir to and whatnot. this is good too...you can't live in fantasyland forever, and even after 3 weeks of it i often find myself getting frustrated, sleeping too late and staying up too late, badly wanting to have to do something, anything that matters to anyone. but the transition is still rough. 2 days, as usual, is not going to be nearly enough time to make it. i'm going to try to catch up on sleep, get my apartment in ship-shape, and, beyond that, just prepare to find myself completely unprepared for class on monday morning as i'm standing in front of 25 new students.
roll on...
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