i think love and sharing are synonyms. or they should be.

the times i feel like i would not suck at being a boyfriend (fleeting though they are, and though i'm not really a boy anymore, well at least not usually) are the times when i feel like i'm a supernova about to explode star guts all over the place.

and i don't mean like angst, or frustration or whatever, i mean all that energy that sits between a tenative grin and the moment words stop being good enough, the infinite distance between those two things...sometimes all that gets so heavy i can't sleep or see straight and it's hard to explain to people without them thinking you're:
a) crazy
b) sad

like the only extremity of feeling most of us allow ourselves is badness. fuck that.

there's something in the air at the moment, some weird chiming in the back of my head harmonizing with that galactic Bb and it's making it really hard to focus on anything (work).

whoa.

for some reason this post made me want to read the waste land.