jack in the box

no, i didn't fall off the wagon and eat at jack in the box.

i was just thinking about how much better i feel doing things now; getting out, occasionally taking a step back from work to talk to someone or have dinner with a friend or, say, go to a concert. or even to stop and write on here.

i realized i feel a bit like a jack-in-the-box most of the time; lots of contained, potential energy always ready to explode, but needing someone or something else to turn the crank, to provide the impetus, for me to be able to explode that energy out into the outside world. otherwise, i just keep bouncing the energy around in my little box and i end up repeating myself...to myself.

so in that way, even for me to be expressive in my most insular way(s), i still need other people to help in some capacity. that's humbling, but also great. it's the difference between stargazing on a clear winter night and stargazing during a thunderstorm during the day.

hmm...pizza time.