i'm totally sideways
or maybe the room is sideways and i'm rightways
it sure doesn't feel like it though
i have a bad moment;
i don't really like it when suddenly i'm drunk and i don't remember why
not a good idea to not do it for a good reason
but here we are anyways
i just went on a walk around pullman
and there were a few people out
but largely they avoided me
this one girl was scared i was going to hurt her puppy
she didn't act like it but i could tell
i would never hurt a puppy or a girl on purpose
but i still don't blame her from running from me
i would too sometimes if i wasn't stuck to me
i thought about buying food from IGA
but it seemed too cliche; like here comes the drunk
fucker at 4am to get shitty food and sleep off his stupid decisions
luckily i have cool friends who will let me make an ass of myself and
be all like everything is normal tomorrow
but i put myself in a bad place and i'm glad the damage was minimal
i'm working on cutting out caffeine and i stopped smoking
so i keep thinking this is a temporary adjustment but it's been like
three weeks...i'm a bit scared of overdrinking a bit
and maybe turning back into my old self
and maybe hurting people...i don't mind so much hurting myself
i can handle it if i'm asking for it, which i am
but my new friends are badass and shouldn't have to deal with old baggage
hopefully that's not what this is
hopefully it's just me not knowing how to have fun yet and trying to learn
because that would be an awesome skill to have
so i'll keep my eyes open and hope that's what it is
and we'll find out soon enough
because i'll either really smile with it
or implode
and either way it'll be a pretty fucking clear answer
that's money, honey.
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