today, i find myself longing for the safety and security of the deep sea. i would prefer being wrapped in supportive emotions by someone i love, yet i may have to be assertive now to get what i want. but i shouldn't bury my intentions behind a wall of fear; showing my vulnerability could prove to be a gambit worth playing.
okay, actually that's just my horoscope.
i just wanted to take a moment to pause and reflect on valentine's day. i've made the tired old arguments about how stupid it is often enough in the past, so this year let's try something different.
hanging out with someone and expressing positive feelings for them is something that people don't do enough (myself included) in a not stupid, cliched way. this is not necessarily an argument for or an indictment of valentine's day. it's just an observation. valentine's day frustrates me not because of the idea that you're "supposed to" make some huge, magnanimous gesture towards someone you love, and if you don't you're an ass. i've surpassed that idea. if i was dating someone that insisted on such grand gestures on certain days of the year to reinforce the stability of our relationship, i would stop dating them, most likely, soon after finding this out. that's my personal preference, and i don't want to judge people who are into different things than i. especially since my relationship track record isn't necessarily grand-master status.
my gripe is this: too many people i know are using the grand-gesture + society validates this grand gesture as evidence of love = i'm off the hook equation. and it sucks. i can remember many, many times i bought a girl flowers or something similar, or spent a day cooking her dinner, etc. not because i wanted to make her happy, but because i thought i had to prove that i liked her, and that it was easier to prove this by being dramatic than by simply sitting down and saying something as simple as "i like you and i'm glad we're together". and i think that's a serious fucking problem. not just with me, but with lots and lots and lots of people. so that's why valentine's day gets to me. everybody out on the mall hugging and doing cutesy couple things is actually awesome, but if there's nothing more honest behind the display than the labels and the pageantry themselves, then fuck it.
i don't want to talk myself up, but this salem and seattle mixtape is awesome. go download it, if you haven't already.
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