fun with words #1

i've been inspired by SD to a new form of poetry-writing, wherein i write a poem and then cross out a random number of words for each line and replace them with other words without rereading first to provide context. so here's my first attempt:

draft 1:
both eyes on the plaza
the lovely pastel parade of parties
consummating their shiny relationships
with flashes and beeps
until the sun goes down
shadows disappear
and there is no light to give
gloss to their fake smiles

draft 2:
mirrors on the plaza
the lovely pastel sycophants,
shiny relationships,
and beeps
until the sun eats all the
shadows. disappear,
and leave enough light to give
gloss to glass smiles