all roads lead to fucking

no, seriously.  look at the picture.  not photoshopped.

foo, you just got nailed!

last night, i heroically dealt with squads of armacham soldiers the only way i know how...with a nailgun.

i'm looking at you, valhalla

if you're in a "dance club" and you ask the DJ to play some new order and they say "who?", it's not actually a dance club.

when it rains, it pours lemonade (that you made from the lemons life gave you)

so, in my 10619 days of life on earth, i've now locked my keys in my car twice.  that means, on any given day, i'm .0188% likely to lock my keys in the car (and 99.98% likely to not).  those are pretty good odds.  unless, of course, you consider the fact that the last time i locked my keys in the car was almost a year ago today.  that means that within the last year, i've actually been .55% likely to lock my keys in the car, up drastically from 0% in the previous 28 years.  at the rate i'm currently going, assuming i live to be 70 years old, i will lock my keys in the car 82 more times before my death (the movement of technology away from metal keys towards biometrics notwithstanding).

all this math shit leads to a more important question: is grad school making me lose my mind?

i'm almost certain that i'm stupider than i was five years ago, though i'm not sure exactly if grad school is to blame.  all the hookers and blow might have something to do with it, i suppose.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!